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Apr 30 17 7:40 AM

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HI, I'm a 40 something year old Trans person living in London. I'm not what some people would call" full time" (I think all of these definitions are full of holes but I will use them for now as short hand for ease) but I'm also what people would call "out" - anyone who knows me knows I'm Trans. I don't make any secret about it, eventhough I don't present as female in most parts of my life.  I am a generally a happy go lucky sort of a person. Not to say I haven't had my fair share of the down times we are all familiar with I am sure, but I handle them pretty well (we can talk about how we all do if you would like - I am happy to help if I can).

I enjoy reading (a lot! ... pretty much anything), drawing, browsing through antique markets and going to auctions, going around museums and art galleries and just generally going out and about to see sites. If you want to know more, please do say hi, it's the main reason I'm here - to talk to good and supportive people who can relate. I'm happy to talk to, or write to, anyone who wants to chat. For now though take care and much love to all.

Mx
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#1 [url]

Apr 30 17 2:39 PM

Hi Marcie,

Welcome! I am very similar to you in that most all of my friends and family know I'm trans, but I haven't presented to them in a female way. I'm soon to be 61 and as of a couple of weeks ago I no longer call the San Francisco Bay Area my home. I bought and loaded up a smallish RV and am now traveling north in Oregon, exploring my trans-ness (for lack of a better term) and considering where I should relocate more permanently.

I don't think I will need/want to transition but I have plans to visit a service in Portland that offers more complete make-overs, consultations, and outings, for three days straight. I think of this as like "training wheels" for a bicycle - although I don't know if you have the same things in the UK. Of course, children want to fully learn how to ride a bike and honestly, I'm not sure how much this experience will make up my mind. But instead of just thinking about it (and all the things that might go wrong or right) it's important to actually experience life. Yes, it's scary but that's what I'm paying them for, to help me.

I will say that in some ways I envy those who know they must transition. I guess it's like knowing what career or education one must have. The lack of certainty about where I am under the transgender umbrella leads to a fair amount of stress and wonder. Perhaps you've achieved a level of comfort with all that? If so I applaud you and would love to hear how you figured yourself out.

Again, welcome, and I look forward to hearing from you!

Emma

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#2 [url]

Apr 30 17 10:40 PM

Hi Emma,

It's lovely to hear from you, thank you. And thank you for telling me about yourself. I am so excited for you heading out into the world! I hope things go okay for you as you experience more of life. I think that's a lovely idea that you are exploring and looking for places to settle. And the idea of training wheels too. I can relate to that in many ways. 

I'm full of conundrums in many ways but my life is starting to make more sense to myself now. I've been in and out of therapy for different problems I've had for about 20 years so have sought lots of help. I never really got the support I needed though until I went to a therapist last year. She helped me to come to terms with my Trans'ness and who I was (I could go on and on about that!) but also perhaps as importantly taught me mindfulness meditation - which helped me to cut the connection between my feelings and the negative thoughts that inevitably ensued. It was like switching my mind off and on again and rebooting.  Now I don't really see the concept of transitioning - I just see 'being me' and have stopped looking for something and instead stopped looking for something and let it come to me. I now feel more whole than I ever have done. 

I would really like to talk more Emma if you ever have the chance and if you would like to swap email addresses please let me know. You sound like a very kind and open person. For now though take care and much love to you, M x

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#3 [url]

May 1 17 6:52 AM

Hi Marcie and welcome to CDL

I enjoyed reading your story and hope we can swap more stories and chat sometime

I'm the Chat room Mod.. the Chat room isn't used all the time but has a few regulars. Sometimes I name a date and time and we have a chat room 'event' and that draws in more people

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#6 [url]

May 5 17 5:55 AM

Hello! =)

Your mind is software. Program it.

Your body is a shell. Change it.
Death is a disease. Cure it.
Extinction is approaching. Fight it!

© "Eclipse Phase" by Posthuman Studios

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#8 [url]

May 13 17 5:20 AM

Hi Marcie and welcome. :) I also a Brit but not a Londoner and you could say I am a Trans from "Up North. ;) Sadly I'm not out, only to my best friend who has been very accepting. 

Last Edited By: Karise Aikina May 15 17 1:15 AM. Edited 1 time.

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