I have gotten a lot of sissy/feminization/shemale followers over at tumbr, for my Trans Express blog. I welcome them all. What I have learned from them is relevant to this discussion.
(And no, Trans Express is not a fetish blog. It is a blog I sat up to curate news for younger trans people of all shades and colors, crossdreamers included.)
Anyway, I have been going through some of these sissy blogs, and have come to understand that there are probably thousands of them. For me this is another proof of there being many more crossdreamers in the world that any current "experts" in the field are aware of.
The sissy-enthusiasts share images and "captions" mainly, and the favorite topics are forced feminization, forced sex and being reduced to a bimbo sex slave. In this the genre is much less diverse than other types of "TG fiction" and "TG captions", where we find everything from hard core porn to innocent romances.
The sissy blogs explore every sexist cliché you could possible think of, including embracing slurs like "sissy" and "faggot" with great gusto.There is an insanely amount of internalized homophobia and transphobia here, and the conflict between these attitudes and the deep felt desire to be a woman with an active sex life, is resolved by turning the humiliation into a turn on.
I have written erotic TG fiction myself, so I do get it. So this is not the part where I will start condemning all these blog makers as perverted fetishists. In fact, I embrace them as family.
I consider these blogs to be some kind of dream journals, ways for the bloggers to express and explore a side of them that is considered taboo, both by themselves and others.The fact that they fall back on the most misogynistic narratives of our culture is to me just another example of how the oppressive "cisstem" works. I am reminded of the old Italian joke:
"All women are whores, except my mum. She is a virgin."
And libidinous women are considered whores, so if you want to imagine yourself as a sexually active woman, this is what you become.
For me sexual fantasies are sexual fantasies. They are what they are, neither bad nor good. They simply express a side of ourselves that we need to acknowledge and hopefully be able to integrate into our lives.
Sexual fantasies vs. real life
But there is, and often should be, a wide gap between some fantasies and the real life.
To give one obvious example: Research indicates that up till 50% of women experience arousing rape fantasies. This does not mean that rape is a good thing, that they want this in their real lives or that men should be allowed to rape women.
The rape fantasies probably reflect an upbringing where lust is considered sinful or bad, and the rape resolves the guilt by adding an element of force. "It wasn't my fault." Alternatively the fantasies may partly be a reflection of a deeply embedded submission/dominance dynamic. But even that cannot serve as an excuse for real life rape.
In any case it is clear that we have to distinguish between the realm of fantasy and the realm of real life.
Most people do understand this. Even children get it. "I am a princess" means that in this dream scenario I am a princess, not that "I am the daughter of the Queen of Denmark."
Unfortunately some of our sissy enthusiasts do not get this, and this is where it gets toxic.
When sexual fantasies become political
I had an absurd conversation this week with one fetish enthusiast who actually believed that getting public support for being turned into a "bimbo shemale" should be considered as legitimate as transwomen getting surgery for their gender dysphoria.
I cannot even begin to express how insanely offensive this is to all women, trans or not trans.
Sissy is a slur. Really!
In the real world, out there among cis and trans people, the following words are extreme slurs.
Sissy. A grew up bing called "girly" and "sissy" and various Scandinavian equivalents thereof. These terms were used to hurt, demean and discipline me, in the same way they are used every day to stop people assigned male at birth from exploring their feminine side. When you see that Ray Blanchard uses this word to discipline kids through conversion therapy, you know that it is evil.
Bimbo. I cannot believe I have to say this: Bimbo is the ultimate example for a culture that demeans and suppresses women, including crossdreamers who know they are women deep down. Go back to the Italian joke and you get the point.
Slut. Ditto. The fact that "stallion" has positive connotations and "slu"t has not, tells you everything you need to know about the hierarchies of genders.
Faggot. Don't even go there!
Shemale. There are apparently trans women who embrace this term, but they are few and very far apart. A trans woman with a penis is not a "shemale"; she is a woman, plain and simple. If she enjoys using her genitalia -- in any way imaginable -- she is still a woman. Women are not defined by what's between their legs, or how they use it, but what's between their ears. And if they identify as nonbinary, genderqueer, twin spirit, third sex; well, then that is what they are, not "shemales".
None of these terms can or should be used in a social or political struggle for crossdreamer or transgender rights or recognition.
Sissy fantasies cannot be a foundation for crossdreamer or trans activism
Which brings me back to the sissy blogs. Should these bloggers stop using these words in their blog?
Ideally, yes, but as I said: Writing fiction is, as crossdressing or role playing, ways of exploring your own psyche. Sometimes you need to bring light into the dark places of your mind.
But to use these sexist stereotypes as a basis for politics? Come on!!!
Last Edited By: jackmolay Dec 5 15 7:12 AM. Edited 8 times