Well you do what you like, like I said no pressure. I was like you when I was 22 too. I mean I wasn't even anywhere near brave enough to find a suitable forum and just say 'I have a problem' back in 2004, I just barely nearly told a single close friend once, back in the good old Windows XP / MSN messenger days, but I chickened out, and no I didn't think men were a solution either, most of them just seemed fairly stupid and I could do well enough without, like I'm never letting anyone come near me with their penis, at least not outside of a carefully controlled fantasy scenario.
But you know, by the time I was 30 I didn't feel quite the same way any more, I eventually realised that it was really just my pride that was standing in the way of my having a lot of experiences that I might actually enjoy.
Like a part of my subconscious was still just stuck there, thinking like a teenage girl, waiting for something to happen, something that was still physically impossible for me to achieve.
You can get away with it when you are young, but when you kind of sort of think you want to be getting into management or entrepreneurship and actually take responsibility for other people's lives, well you don't want to be stuck thinking like a selfish 17 year old girl in your mid thirties, because other people do notice and it sucks. The people I went to school with are halfway up the career ladder nowadays and a lot of them also have wives and kids, and I still feel like I've barely gotten started.
Some of them even called me a tranny when I was just 17-18, and well, they were probably right, I should have believed them.
Now I kind of wish I was only 22 again and I'd at least got things underway before my hair had started to fall out and so forth.
Coz you know, they tell you you can't have surgery till you have lived in-role for at least a year, and you don't want to try living in-role unless you are at least somewhat passable, and that might not be till you've been on hormones for 18+ months and had a load of electrolysis, and that's not counting all the other really long waiting lists and administrivia in between, so you know, maybe life actually begins at 40, if you are lucky. 😕
But maybe I'm just an extreme case, and if you can actually manage to go the distance, go for it. But if you are planning to live to 70+, well the time sure does drag on after a while, and it kind of feels like you've seen just about everything already happen at least once before, yet you've somehow never been able to be a part of it, and sometimes you just want it to all stop.
Sorry, I'm due a new patch tonight, so I'm on a bit of a downer right now.