#22 [url]

Apr 4 17 12:24 AM

Ok, so you can get it up for the girls, but only if you approach it by thinking you are also a girl, which probably makes you not quite what a lot of straight women are really looking for, hence the guilt..

I guess it helps a bit if you are sure you're only into girls, they are hopefully less likely to want to kill you, unless the only kind of women you really find attractive turn out to be TERFs who also think that people like you shouldn't exist, that would still suck.  I'm not sure I even have that choice, when my hormones are up my body just does things on it's own when I'm around men, whatever I may consciously think of them, so it's rather tricky, as I can't honestly say that I wouldn't ever want them to fuck me. 

I guess the point of the post was to mix up a fairly cutesy tale of self-discovery and affirmation with some of the more harsh realities you would be likely to face depending on how well you 'pass'. 

Last Edited By: Xora Apr 4 17 5:40 AM. Edited 2 times.

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#23 [url]

Apr 4 17 1:56 AM

jackmolay wrote:
I like the penguin tale. It simply says that happiness is being true to who you are. Trying desperately to be a cis male when you are a trans woman will not work. The analogy works whether you are gay and straight.

I can look up the numbers, but I have seen statistics that indicate that a majority of trans women are gynephilic or bisexual. New research also indicate that a majority of trans men are androphilic or bisexual. 


 

I'm not usually one who enjoy Shadenfreude but I do love in when anyone with prejudice or extreme views uses an example to promote their case that would, if they knew the whole facts, would do exactly the opposite

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#24 [url]

Apr 4 17 11:29 AM

Xora wrote:
Ok, so you can get it up for the girls, but only if you approach it by thinking you are also a girl, which probably makes you not quite what a lot of straight women are really looking for, hence the guilt..

I guess it helps a bit if you are sure you're only into girls, they are hopefully less likely to want to kill you, unless the only kind of women you really find attractive turn out to be TERFs who also think that people like you shouldn't exist, that would still suck.  I'm not sure I even have that choice, when my hormones are up my body just does things on it's own when I'm around men, whatever I may consciously think of them, so it's rather tricky, as I can't honestly say that I wouldn't ever want them to fuck me. 

I guess the point of the post was to mix up a fairly cutesy tale of self-discovery and affirmation with some of the more harsh realities you would be likely to face depending on how well you 'pass'. 

Well you said pre op transsexuals can't get it up for girls. That's just not true in some cases. 

And I should add I have been turned on before when kissing girls and holding hands and even going further. It's just harder when I start looking at internet erotica and TG. There are studies that support that too much porn consumption can kill a man's drive. 

I also don't consider myself transsexual, so this scenario doesn't apply to me just yet. I just feel you're making a few assumptions, one of which is that men are the solution.

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#25 [url]

Apr 4 17 12:24 PM

Well you do what you like, like I said no pressure. I was like you when I was 22 too. I mean I wasn't even anywhere near brave enough to find a suitable forum and just say 'I have a problem' back in 2004, I just barely nearly told a single close friend once, back in the good old Windows XP / MSN messenger days, but I chickened out, and no I didn't think men were a solution either, most of them just seemed fairly stupid and I could do well enough without, like I'm never letting anyone come near me with their penis, at least not outside of a carefully controlled fantasy scenario. 

But you know, by the time I was 30 I didn't feel quite the same way any more, I eventually realised that it was really just my pride that was standing in the way of my having a lot of experiences that I might actually enjoy. 

Like a part of my subconscious was still just stuck there, thinking like a teenage girl, waiting for something to happen, something that was still physically impossible for me to achieve.

You can get away with it when you are young, but when you kind of sort of think you want to be getting into management or entrepreneurship and actually take responsibility for other people's lives, well you don't want to be stuck thinking like a selfish 17 year old girl in your mid thirties, because other people do notice and it sucks. The people I went to school with are halfway up the career ladder nowadays and a lot of them also have wives and kids, and I still feel like I've barely gotten started. 

Some of them even called me a tranny when I was just 17-18, and well, they were probably right, I should have believed them.

Now I kind of wish I was only 22 again and I'd at least got things underway before my hair had started to fall out and so forth.
Coz you know, they tell you you can't have surgery till you have lived in-role for at least a year, and you don't want to try living in-role unless you are at least somewhat passable, and that might not be till you've been on hormones for 18+ months and had a load of electrolysis, and that's not counting all the other really long waiting lists and administrivia in between, so you know, maybe life actually begins at 40, if you are lucky. 😕

But maybe I'm just an extreme case, and if you can actually manage to go the distance, go for it. But if you are planning to live to 70+, well the time sure does drag on after a while, and it kind of feels like you've seen just about everything already happen at least once before, yet you've somehow never been able to be a part of it, and sometimes you just want it to all stop. 

Sorry, I'm due a new patch tonight, so I'm on a bit of a downer right now. 

Last Edited By: Xora Apr 4 17 12:30 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#26 [url]

Apr 4 17 1:40 PM

Xora wrote:
Well you do what you like, like I said no pressure. I was like you when I was 22 too. I mean I wasn't even anywhere near brave enough to find a suitable forum and just say 'I have a problem' back in 2004, I just barely nearly told a single close friend once, back in the good old Windows XP / MSN messenger days, but I chickened out, and no I didn't think men were a solution either, most of them just seemed fairly stupid and I could do well enough without, like I'm never letting anyone come near me with their penis, at least not outside of a carefully controlled fantasy scenario. 

But you know, by the time I was 30 I didn't feel quite the same way any more, I eventually realised that it was really just my pride that was standing in the way of my having a lot of experiences that I might actually enjoy. 

Like a part of my subconscious was still just stuck there, thinking like a teenage girl, waiting for something to happen, something that was still physically impossible for me to achieve.

You can get away with it when you are young, but when you kind of sort of think you want to be getting into management or entrepreneurship and actually take responsibility for other people's lives, well you don't want to be stuck thinking like a selfish 17 year old girl in your mid thirties, because other people do notice and it sucks. The people I went to school with are halfway up the career ladder nowadays and a lot of them also have wives and kids, and I still feel like I've barely gotten started. 

Some of them even called me a tranny when I was just 17-18, and well, they were probably right, I should have believed them.

Now I kind of wish I was only 22 again and I'd at least got things underway before my hair had started to fall out and so forth.
Coz you know, they tell you you can't have surgery till you have lived in-role for at least a year, and you don't want to try living in-role unless you are at least somewhat passable, and that might not be till you've been on hormones for 18+ months and had a load of electrolysis, and that's not counting all the other really long waiting lists and administrivia in between, so you know, maybe life actually begins at 40, if you are lucky. 😕

But maybe I'm just an extreme case, and if you can actually manage to go the distance, go for it. But if you are planning to live to 70+, well the time sure does drag on after a while, and it kind of feels like you've seen just about everything already happen at least once before, yet you've somehow never been able to be a part of it, and sometimes you just want it to all stop. 

Sorry, I'm due a new patch tonight, so I'm on a bit of a downer right now. 

I'm sorry you're feeling bad right now. I hope you're transition goes as smoothly as possible.

But I think outside of a sexual context, I would have a hard time being a girl. I mean so would you call yourself a straight trans woman? 

I really don't want to do anything with men, they've never done anything for me. Muscles, beards, hair, arms, etc. Doesn't do anything. If I were truly transgender I would've done so a long time ago. Yes, I have problems with sex and I have sexual fantasies about being a girl, but none of them feature men. Actually, I'm quite submissive and I have a mistress so I got that going for me.

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#27 [url]

Apr 4 17 2:43 PM

Leah - "But I think outside of a sexual context, I would have a hard time being a girl. I mean so would you call yourself a straight trans woman?"

To me, this is the key point that separates those who are transition bound from those who are not. Somebody might even be somewhat body dysphoric, but unless they can accept living 24/7 their life in another sex, they will find transition unbearable. However, I will add that we are increasingly moving to a non-binary world, so transition has many more options than it once did. When I decided to transition, I also decided that I wouldn't try to fit neatly into a box called "female' by simply adopting every feminine stereotype I could. Rather, I decided to pick and choose what I wanted in my life from both the boys and girls boxes. As it turned out, I just picked a lot more girl stuff than boy stuff, but I still have some of my previous interests and habits.

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#28 [url]

Apr 4 17 3:09 PM

I'm not into them either like that. Unlike the Paris Lees type I didn't go through my teens with pinups from gay times on my wall. I had posters of iMacs and air traffic control maps and well yeah I was given the 1998 spice girls calendar but that was a bit too close to home, coz when the boys were going round asking 'whose your favourite spice girl' it's like, well actually I wannabe one not have a favourite one, so I kept that one safely hidden away to look at longingly every now and again. 

Not muscles, hair and beards no, but someone to put their arms around you, someone to listen to you, someone to at least pretend to understand just a bit about the work you do and why it's so important to you, and yeah maybe someone to take you out to dinner and dancing, someone you actually want to make the effort to look after your body for, and someone who actually wants to manage the mortgage and the filing while you manage the cooking and maybe interior decor. 

I dunno, there are very very few people where I can say 'I think I know every part of your history and interior landscape, and all of it is just awesome, and I really want to be with you always', but that's kind of what I'm looking for about now, and I've waited quite a long time already since that part of me woke up and started searching.
All of it really seems to be about how they are able to make you feel, not about what they actually look like. You can actually fall in love with someone just by reading what they've written, even if they are half a world away. It's the men who really care what the women look like far more than it is the women care about the men.

Last Edited By: Xora Apr 6 17 5:25 AM. Edited 1 time.

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#29 [url]

Apr 5 17 9:05 PM

April wrote:
Leah - "But I think outside of a sexual context, I would have a hard time being a girl. I mean so would you call yourself a straight trans woman?"

To me, this is the key point that separates those who are transition bound from those who are not. Somebody might even be somewhat body dysphoric, but unless they can accept living 24/7 their life in another sex, they will find transition unbearable. However, I will add that we are increasingly moving to a non-binary world, so transition has many more options than it once did. When I decided to transition, I also decided that I wouldn't try to fit neatly into a box called "female' by simply adopting every feminine stereotype I could. Rather, I decided to pick and choose what I wanted in my life from both the boys and girls boxes. As it turned out, I just picked a lot more girl stuff than boy stuff, but I still have some of my previous interests and habits.

If I was magically turned into one, I could definitely be happy with it. But the process itself is too grueling and it's not easy to go through. That's the main reason I don't think I could do it, as much as I do want to be a girl sometimes. 

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