I have a slightly different view of women and relationship between sexes. I am guessing that my views fit best with some of the earlier feminists who were interested in liberation from gender stereotypes. Sexuality is something both women and men possess, and can be used in accordance with the desires of the individual. My soul is both sexy and very powerful. Sex is for fun, and not some economic arrangement.
Seriously though, sex above all is power. Bargaining power. In today's world, after women's liberation, it equips women with immense leverage vis-a-vis men, and in the cutthroat competion that ensues between men in order to please the woman for her favours, half the men become hostage to her whims and sex economizing, or she'll just move on to the next new model, and another good chunk of the male population ends up bereft of love altogether and thrown by the wayside as discarded specimens of the human population. It's not right towards those men. They are good men. Men need love too.
That being said, from what I have seen in my own life, the majority of both men and women want something more stable, they want love for life, they want a soul partner, they want someone to share the good and the bad with. But life is hard, and we are all imperfect. No wonder relationships go bad. But a lot of relationships, straight or gay, grow stronger with time.
Gentlemen! This is all clear signs that you are, or that you still are or that you started out, male! I feel like an alien who crash-landed onto earth and into a female body! Then, in order to thrive in a little female body, I signed up to learn from and work among females for over 40 years!
The dictionary definition (as updated by Wiktionary) of a "female" is that of a being (thus, a sex) that produces eggs and/or has XX chromosomes. (One or the other, would you believe?) This is a reproductive definition and has been the prevailing distinction between the "binaries" so far. As a result of waiting eggs, physical qualities that also distinguish the female are a smaller upper body, a wider lower body, a shorter stature than the males of the same population, and gynological/obsetric capabilities. MTFers, the last one, the last one seems to get forgotten a lot!!
I can't shake off how relevant Sigmund Freud's theories about life are, even if I don't like the guy because of his Victorian influence! Aggression and the fear of death are primal forces that human beings struggle with, in any culture. The primal urges to attack, maim, and kill just so happen to also be sexual too! It's a coincidence! It's not about love, Jack. It's not about sex, Monique. It is about struggling with the primal urge to hurt a self, including one's own self. The victims tend to be the people with the smaller physical bodies, and if it's a female, there is also a chance of a pregnancy. Thus, life starts out as aggression. The female has little control over gestation and the eventually live birth. The female body loses most often. The power over sex that you speak of, Monique, is preliminary to what the female knows she will have to deal with eventually: possible children (with illnesses and/or birth defects), limited resources, limited physical protection for her home, herself, and her children. It's not that the female controls sex, she's trying to save her life from a life of atrocity.
For over 40 years of seeing a population, mostly made up of women and children, even at higher socio-economic strata, sex is a tool of survival. Dependency, in the form of welfare, comes first. And even with plenty of security and resources, social reforms, reproductive rights, and "better" politics, I still see and hear females suffer. If only being "thrown by the wayside as discarded specimens of the human population" from losing a game of love was enough!! MTFers, you can talk about love, sex, and power as thoughts. Think about them as a result of trying to live day by day.
To be able to "play" with sex for pleasure, and only pleasure, is a luxury.
(This thread was originally about female and lesbian porn. It's a pastime ..... one that I'll never understand, but yeah, an interesting pastime for some people.)