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Silver and Ivory argues that we have to get rid of the girlfag term and replace it with something else. I am not sure the alternative, "gaymale woman" is much better (as it excludes male-identifying MTF people and contradicts their argument that girlfags are not always attracted to gay men), but I agree with the overall message.
Silver and Ivory defends the idea of identifying with the feminine man:
2. It is not homophobic to be drawn to effeminate gaymale stereotypes.
The articles I read often tried to divide girlfags into ultra-feminine and masculine. The ultra-feminine girlfags often talked about feeling like extremely gay men.And hearing them talk about that was one of the most validating things I’d ever felt in my life.
There had been multiple times when I’d felt like an extremely effeminate gay man, and until these gaymale women shared their experiences no one had ever told me it was not only okay, but also real and legitimate to feel like an effeminate gay man.
Silver and Ivory also dismisses the fetish narrative that invalidates girlfag lives:
7. The fact that this comes from your sexuality doesn’t make you illegitimate.
See, some of you (most of you? all of you?) probably experience sexual fantasies, with yourself as a gay man with a working penis. If this is the only “gender thing” you think you have, it makes sense to identify as a gaymale woman. And that’s completely valid!
But this could also be a manifestation of other gender things. This is fairly common in trans people; often, before physical and mental transition, some trans women in particular have sexual fantasies about being women or where they have vaginas and breasts. This is sometimes referred to as autogynephilia and viewed as a simple fetish, but trans women such as the esteemed activist and scientist Julia Serano conceptualize these fantasies as a valid expression of trans identity here: [the article then goes on to present Serano's concept of feminine/masculine embodiment fantasies]
Last Edited By: jackmolay Dec 16 16 1:22 AM. Edited 2 times