Despite the intensity of my crossdreaming during waking hours, it seems to be a different story when I’m asleep. In all my sleeping dreams, I can’t remember one where I was female-bodied (alas). In the most self-indulgent of them I’m a vastly more successful version of my daytime self – the man who always gets the girl. In the most troubling, I’m a teenage crossdresser who is rumbled when my parents unexpectedly arrive home early. (Never happened in life, thank goodness, but one of the ways in which my late parents continue to haunt my dreams.) Of course, we don’t remember all our dreams, but I think if I’d dreamt of total female embodiment while asleep, the experience would have been sufficiently striking and unusual to stay with me when I woke up.
Have other people noticed anything similar? I know we’re resistant here to the idea of diagnostic ‘tests’, but I have wondered whether this distinction could be a measure of where one is on the transgender scale. Freud spoke of dreams as the ‘royal road to the unconscious’. When the internal censor is switched off – or at least temporarily distracted – we may get a truer picture of our deepest motivations and desires.
Last Edited By: Dabrela Nov 28 16 3:48 AM.
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