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Nov 21 16 8:37 PM

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It's amazing to me, but I now find myself at a point in my life where I am constantly recalling long lost memories from my youth. Today one came back to me after looking at a selfie. My father was a very co-dependent man who made a habit of constantly trying to invoke his way of doing everything on his family. I was his favorite target in that regard. He viewed me as a major disappointment, largely because I wasn't his clone. Some of that had to with the fact that I wasn't boy enough for his tastes. He would regularly scorn me when I somehow failed his masculinity test. While that general impression has lived on in my psyche for decades, a lot of the specific details have been long repressed. But today I remembered one particular incident that took place at an extended family reunion, in front of fair number of people, when I was about 16. I was just sitting on a chair eating a hamburger, when my father yelled out loud enough for many to hear: "Stop sitting that way. You are crossing your legs like a girl". I felt a little embarrassed, but I honestly didn't know what I had done wrong. Sitting that way just seemed perfectly normal to me. Yet I said nothing back. I just nodded and uncrossed my legs.

My dad has been deceased about 9 years, but if he were here right now and said that I was sitting like a girl, I would simply respond:


Well Ya Dad, Duh!
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Nov 22 16 1:36 AM

Well Ya Dad, Duh!

You go girl!!!

I am sorry to hear this about your upbringing. I am sure there were a lot of instances like this one, and if you add them up it becomes easier to understand why so many crossdreamers and trans people suffer so much.

This was clearly his idea of conditioning you to your proper role in society. But it doesn't work, does it. And that says a lot about the strenght of these feelings and how real they are.

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