Nov 18 16 1:11 AM

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I like Joanna Santos' blog Musings from my Everyday Life.

She thinks outside the box and manages to put crossdreaming, crossdressing, and being transgender into a broader context.

In her latest post she writes about transitioning:
As we have expanded the acceptability of a wider range of gender expression, it should be logical to assume that less people will opt for a complete transition and by freeing the person to be themselves we will remove the hard constraints that have traditionally plagued gender non-conformity. This does not mean that transitions will disappear, far from it, but only that there will be more options for those who don’t need, wish to or cannot do so.

Read the full post here.
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#1 [url]

Mar 1 17 12:20 PM

Anne Vitale discusses "gender presentation deprivation anxiety" --


There is a fairly well understood double window in natal development which determines "male" from an otherwise "female default" program in the embryo. Testosterone floods the fetus at about 8 wks which causes the genital tubercle to differentiate into a phallus, scrotum, testes. At about wk. 15, testosterone floods the brain and "gender maps" the fetus as male.

Things go awry if/when the host mother does not produce sufficient testosterone for the XY fetus, OR the fetus is resistant to the testosterone.

At any rate this process gone awry results in "intersex" and/or a "gender map" that programs the brain (ontologically/existentially) to be "female" or some intermediate variation.

This biological/natal development aspect of trans identity has been the focus of my blog these past couple weeks.


I had been very much a sort of Post-Structuralist Radical Feminist with regard to gender presentation -- that presentation and gender ID is basically socio/cultural. I'm good with the socio/cultural realm, can dress and act "non-binary" in the day-to-day." But my reading now is telling me there is a strong biological component to gender ID.

Mostly what I assert is that gender is a continuum -- with a great wealth of intermediate options. Hormones and surgery are not going to work for me. I'm nearly 69, have been living as "me" now a long time. I'm mostly these days just more assertive about my gender presentation. It's not a secret that I'm "trans" -- "trans whatever." Living in a west coastal area, everyone here wears "beach casual" which is gender neutral by and large.

No hormones, no surgery -- but still "in transition." Mostly what "transition" entails is presentation that is more ambiguous, less gender polar.

Yes, indeed I am anxious and deprived that I cannot wear a lot of my wardrobe in public. I made the comment just this morning to my VA nurse who was doing a physical exam and who sees what I wear under what I present. "I'm a stealth lesbian."

I aspire to a day when we won't be coerced into surgery and hormones to be who it is we are.

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Mar 23 17 3:35 PM

Nope if you have strong physical gender dysphoria (GD), all the social acceptance of gender non conformity in the world won't change that..
If your GD is far more around visual and behavioural aspects then a non surgical transition can work, it does for many, though even with those the vast majority are on HRT and many have other procedures to make then look better (FFS, electrolysis, etc) and they live as and present as women (and of course men for trans men).

That is a TERF myth, that if it becomes more acceptable to be non-binary (who TERFs also hate by the way, so there is some dripping hypocrisy in all this) then there will be less who transition.
This is just saying they are really no trans people they really are just gender non conforming 'men' (and of course women) being 'forced' into transition by the 'great trans activist/medical establishment/ anti gay/misogynist/left wing conspiracy'.

Bit like arguing that better acceptance of bisexuals will lead to less gays and lesbians.

What is actually happening in real life is that there are far more of both now as trans and non-binary people are more accepted, and thus more 'come out of the closet'..
Those with strong GD transition (in one way or another) those with less can find an alternative in being non-binary in some way.

Sorry, I am not a gender non conforming man, I am a woman who just got unlucky at birth..

Last Edited By: LisaM Mar 23 17 4:11 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#3 [url]

Mar 23 17 8:28 PM

Even if there is a greater liberalization in regards to gender conformity, that will do absolutely nothing in regards to body dysphoria. That has been been the most chronic form of dysphoria over my life. I only really felt social dysphoria strongly in the years immediately preceding my transition, and since. For years, I just simply felt as if I was in the wrong body to the point of it making me feel physically ill.

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#4 [url]

Mar 23 17 10:07 PM

Yes April like yourself my dysphoria always centred around  (a) my body and (b) my behaviour.

 I was so pathetic, policing my body language all the time to 'pass' as a male. But the core right from the very beginning as a kid was how my body felt., just wrong. 

And socially I like being accepted now as a women, I should have been born as one, I like it when people smile at me  or stop to chat with me. I am far more comfortable, more relaxed, more at peace now than I ever was. I am a far better person now than I ever was, because the 'old me' was never real.. 

I always thought of my male 'act' as like a  suit of armour (bit like Iron Man)  created to protect the real me underneath it, that poor wee  girl who never had a chance as a kid.

Funny thing, some people think I am fairly feminine (whatever that is I am deeply skeptical about such things), but all I did was stop acting 'male' and relax and be myself. 

The endless pressure to 'act male' all the time, to fit in, heck even just to survive. it was horrible. So that wee girl, a real nice wee kid too, got shoved into the closet.. Very smart and very empathetic (maybe too much). Much of my life I felt like 'stranger in a strange land' with all these people I was supposed to be like (males) and I had almost nothing in common with them.. 

Even much later in life, when I had my 'act;' well honed, I'd always end up talking to women at parties and social occasions. I had so little in common with the guys with their narrow interests, their shallow and crude emotions (at least public displays that is) .
Women, especially smart women,  were far richer emotionally and far deeper, far more balanced and real. They were the ones I related to. 

And the endless feeling of wrongness about my body, it never felt right.  It didn't look right. either I have so few pictures of myself back then...I avoided them like the plague

And some things from that time I don't regret, the adventures and things I did ...but realistically I'd have done them as a woman as well (maybe not pushing it quite to the limit s as I did though, there was some self destructiveness there) .
When I sat and watched the sunset from the top of Ayres rock (breaking all the 'rules') it was with a Swiss cis woman travelling alone in her VW Combi all around Australia.  

I so regret not transitioning in 2000 as I thought about, I was at my very peak then, energy, intelligence and experience all combined ...that would have been an amazing decade I could have had as the real me.

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