Thank you all for your replies!
Yes, the secrecy has made me emotionally sick. I don't need to wear a sign that says to the whole world that I cross dream, but at the same time, I need to stop keeping it a secret. I'm committed to this now.
I opened up to my son today. I asked him if ever ever dreamed he were different, like a horse or Chinese or a girl. LOL Anyhow, I just figured that would be an easy way for me to discuss that I sometime dream that I'm a guy (without getting into sex fantasies--he is after all my son you know!) Well, come to find out that he also cross dreams, and that in fact he feels he is "a lesbian in a man's body." See now his wearing his sister's pocahontas dress when he was a boy has a whole new meaning! By being less secretive, not only did I do something good for myself, but for my son as well.
One of the things that I find curious about cross dreaming is that it is done by both cis and transgenders. I'm not transgender at all. I am sooooo into being all curvy and feminine and sexy. To be really honest, it's starting to bug me that what little informative sites I can find seem to make the "default" position of cross dreaming a form of transgenderism.
I am very curious about the cause of it, although really we don't seem to know, do we? I think in my case it may have to do with my levels of testosterone, or the fact that I have been a voracious reader from the age of 9. You're probably saying, What do books have to do with it? When you read, you put yourselves into the shoes of the characters of the books. You see life through their eyes. And especially when I was a kid, the main protagonists were much more often male. Sorry but Nancy Drew wasn't my thing. Look at the Lord of the Rings (my favorite book!): the movie had to do rewrites because it is now simply unacceptable to have a story without major women characters.