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Oct 23 16 2:40 AM

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You may want to take a look at this post over at the reddit crossdreamer forum:

Hi, I Exist!

Here are two excerpts:
While for a long time, I had no desire to be male in real life, this has changed. I feel immense amounts of anxiety about the thought of being a woman in a sexual relationship. I've never had sex and honestly, it doesn't appeal to me. Lately my dysphoria has been intense, but I am very hesitant to call myself trans because of the primarily sexual aspect of my desire to be a man, and because I do not consider myself male. I am a female that despises being female and would much rather have been born male, but I am not a "man trapped in a woman's body". Also, due to a number of reasons, I would never want to transition. It's too imperfect; there's no guarantee I would become the kind of man I would want to be, and it's not the same as having the body of a natal male. These reasons really push me towards the idea that it's an idealized fantasy rather than an identity.

I would die to meet someone with a similar experience. Not someone autogynephilic, but autoandrophilic in the same way I am. My sexuality is less about the relationship I have with the other person than it is about who I am. I think this is parallel to men who have fantasies about becoming women, and it's different than the typical "am I autoandrophilic?" person. I may get rid of this at a later date but for now, this is my experience.



 
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Oct 23 16 7:19 AM

Interesting. We don't hear much about the experience from the opposite end of the spectrum.

"due to a number of reasons, I would never want to transition. It's too imperfect; there's no guarantee I would become the kind of man I would want to be, and it's not the same as having the body of a natal male. These reasons really push me towards the idea that it's an idealized fantasy rather than an identity."

I feel the exact same way, only from the opposite end.

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