Perhaps it's a generational thing, I don't know.
On the one hand there's a firm belief that people start off more or less as a blank slate, and somehow develop a flawed personality, due to bad parenting and/or childhood trauma, and so decide they would rather be on the other side of the line due to 'grass is always greener', and then go for surgery and find they have to spend the rest of their life merely pretending to be something they aren't and are still just as unhappy with their lot. I'd say that most people 40+, who don't actually know any of us personally, still believe that kind of thing, and that's kind of how it was always presented in the populist media when I was young, basically they are crazy people who did a totally freakish and shocking thing and had to suffer the 'natural' consequences of their unnecessarily making themselves a social outcast.
Isn't it nice to know?
That good will conquer evil?
The truth we all believe'll by and by
Outlive a lie
For you and--
No one mourns the Wicked!
No one cries: "They won't return!"
No one lays a lily on their grave
The good man scorns the Wicked!
Through their lives, our children learn
What we miss
When we misbehave..
And goodness knows
The Wicked's lives are lonely
The Wicked die alone
It just shows, when you're wicked,
You're left only
On your own...
But then growing up it started to change, as from when I was about 18 onwards I started to see more sensitive portrayals, films like 'Different For Girls'
and various characters in one-off episodes of other dramas, and then people like Nadia Almada on Big Brother
who may have originally been put in there for the shock value but who obviously was really happy being a woman and wasn't a man who was just playing the part of being a woman full time.
But it wasn't till I got to reading the TSSuccess pages from Lynn Conway
that I really understood it was actually possible to live an ordinary, perhaps low-key, life as a transsexual woman, and actually be good if not sometimes totally brilliant at a regular jobs outside of the entertainment industry, (often particularly in computing, apparently..
), and well the UK law itself started catching up so that it is now possible, though still difficult, to get all of your documentation including your birth certificate amended, and you are now allowed to get legally married and so forth.
Then it finally dawned on me what the real problem was, it wasn't the men who spent their entire lives pretending to be women who really had the problems, it was the people who were essentially subconciously psychologically women who felt they had to spend their entire lives pretending to be men, who really had the most difficulties, especially the ones who had so dissociated themselves from childhood trauma
so they didn't even really know they were women. They would surely feel unnaturally socially disadvantaged and very threatened by the world
, pehaps without their properly understanding why, and get increasingly stressed out and desperate as they get older.
Then all the stuff about Asperger's syndrome fell into place, and after spending so long in the geek community I started to pick up on a lot of the psychological patterns and see the same things happening over and over again, are lot of these people really do basically think like girls, even if they think they aren't, and all the ideas they are using to build all the systems are actually elements of their innate subconcious female psychology sort of bubbling to the surface as supposedly rational thoughts, and operating system design elements..
Till I guess I figured out that it was a lot of the same people that were visiting Fictionmania and so forth that were having the kids with autism or were already diagnosed with asperger's themselves, only no one seemed to be putting two and two together that perhaps it was the people who weren't really subconciously men to begin with, who would much prefer to be living as women, but were trapped by much greater social pressures of having been born in the 50s or 60s, and who maybe were also just too scared to do so, who were getting themselves more and more trapped in their existing lives by producing yet another generation with 'special needs' and feeling responsible for looking after them as well.
Then when the Chelsea Manning thing happened I read all of the stuff she had written in the chat logs with Zinia Jones
and Adrian Lamo
, the letters sent from her therapist and commander in Iraq, the psychologist report from her trial
, the stories about her parents and their job difficulties and alcohol problems
, and decided I ought to actually do something about it, if no one else was going to, as no one else seemed to be seeing the whole picture.
(10:19:00 AM) bradass87: im kind of coming out of a cocoon… its going to take some time, but i hopefully wont be a ghost anymore
(10:19:53 AM) firstname.lastname@example.org: You mentioned gender identity, I believe.
(10:19:59 AM) bradass87: ive had an unusual, and very stressful experience over the last decade or so
(10:20:53 AM) bradass87: yes… questioned my gender for several years… sexual orientation was easy to figure out… but i started to come to terms with it during the first few months of my deployment
(10:21:09 AM) email@example.com: May I ask the particulars?
(10:21:34 AM) firstname.lastname@example.org: I’m bi myself, and my ex is MTF.
(10:21:34 AM) bradass87: im fairly open… but careful, so yes..
(10:22:00 AM) bradass87: im aware of your bi part
(10:22:24 AM) bradass87: uhm, trying to keep a low profile for now though, just a warning
(10:23:34 AM) email@example.com: I’m a journalist and a minister. You can pick either, and treat this as a confession or an interview (never to be published) & enjoy a modicum of legal protection.
(10:24:07 AM) bradass87: assange level?
(10:25:12 AM) bradass87: or are you socially engineering ;P
(10:25:51 AM) firstname.lastname@example.org: You must not have done your research
(10:25:57 AM) email@example.com: I could have flipped for the FBI.
Yes, well, it just goes to show that some people can't ever be trusted with handling any of the valuable sensitive information that they promised to keep a secret.. ;-)
It's like a game theory situation, where no one wants to be put at a disadvantage by being the one making the first move to break with tradition, yet if everyone just keeps on doing what they are doing the stress levels and living conditions for nearly everyone just keep getting worse and worse.
If the government already knows everything about what we do online anyway
, what sites we visit, what books we buy on Kindle, who is really hiding anything anymore?
So we might just as well use the 'big data' analytics thing we have to solve some real biological/psycho/social problems, and perhaps finally understand what actually makes us tick
So now I'm on the other side, and looking at the kids like Kim Petras and thinking how lucky they are that their parents were more understanding, and they won't have to go through some of the things I did in my late teens, and that people should be more aware of neurological differences but not necessarily just to pathologise them with labels like 'autism' when we now have the actual science to understand what is really going on
, how and why it actually works that way, and if you could just send the kids to school in different clothes they likely wouldn't have half the social difficulties and drug problems growing up. We wouldn't need to escape to places like FictionMania if we, avoiding male puberty, learned from the other girls, and could just go out on regular dates as teenagers, so people should not see transition as a pathalogical last resort and we should not be prevented from accessing actual medical treatment as young as possible.
Because that actually is just a girl not a boy.. and her mother was actually more of a man when she got pregnant
But then I'm now also on the other side of the fence from the religious fundamentalists and as far as they are concerned I'm the one promoting a 'pathogenic meme'
and leading the oh so vulnerable young 'autistic' kids down the terribly scary and obviously 'wrong' path to bodily self-mutilation