Sep 17 16 10:27 PM

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The term "polygamy" may conjure up images of a religious zealot with plenty of young girls as wives or a king with a caste system of women to attend to his sexual and reproductive needs.  But from my perspective, polygamy is pretty common among many human societies.  Given the high rate of divorce, monogamy doesn't seem to be a system that is too strong.  Within the last 20 years, the trend in modern day relationship in popular media seems to be a threesome, usually
MMF: straight/bi-male (cis) + gay/bi-male (or transwoman-closeted) + straight female (or transman - unbeknownst) 

I find it interesting that in MMF, one of the males is almost always a cross/trans dreamer.  This dude may be gay or bi, but he is more gender flexible than the cis guy.  This "middle" guy is in fact a middle man in every sense of the term.  He's in the gender middle; he may be in the sexual middle (if he is bi), and he is the middle person who actually holds the threesome relationship together.  He's also the comic relief or the advisor who settles things between the two.  Now, the female is usually a brainiac who lost a lot of cis het male lovers until she found these guys.  With these relationships in the media, I think what this all mean is that cis het women are becoming more and more masculine (almost FTM), and that they are reaching the same gender roles as the comedic transwoman and nice gay man. (I don't prefer to know any nice gay man or nice transwoman - the mean ones are more natural.)  In actuality, all three people have the same minds, and that's how they need each other to be happy.   




"Some Kind of Wonderful" is about a FMF relationship: the person who holds the relationship together is a FTM who wears short hair and trousers a lot.  


Last Edited By: lal2828 Sep 17 16 10:34 PM. Edited 2 times

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Sep 18 16 1:04 AM

I don't know if this is relevant, but your argument reminds me of the excistence of male "morphs" among many animals; i.e. males that look like females, but nevertheless have sex with women. This happens among a large number of animals.

Joan Rougharden has written about this in her Evolution Rainbow book. (More about this here!)

Anyway, I guess my point is that the concept of fluid gender and sexuality is natural, and it makes sense that this should also play itself out in complex human relationships.

Some of the videos you embedded are not viewable in my country. I believe I have found some similar clips.  I definitely have to find these movies and watch them.

One question, Jen: Is your point that the "feminine morph" of man may take on the more submissive role in these trinities because the female point of the triangle is dominant in some way?

Angel of Sex


Some Kind of Wonderful:

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Oct 8 16 3:29 AM

Under ordinary circumstances, I don't think this configuration will work. The female will begin to favor one of the males as her "real man", while the other is reduced to some kind of hangaround status. Not unlike a man sentenced to the "friend zone", actually. (Anyone who's ever been friend zoned knows the shit I'm talking about.) He won't get any of the LOVE (but probably end up doing the household chores). In other words, the configuration is unstable.

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