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Aug 27 16 8:55 AM

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How do you feel, what kind of sensations do you have while crossdreaming deeply?

One thing I love about crossdreaming and crossdressing is that I feel things that are completely different from anything else. I feel like all stress leaves my body. A warm, pleasant sensation comes over me that makes me feel very peaceful. My whole body becomes much more sensitive to touch and feeling something soft is so nice. All my senses in general become more sensitive. I may or may not get aroused depending on the fantasy. I love to be hugged and cuddled, but even moreso when crossdreaming. I like to be treated very gently.

Edit: Meant to put this in the Crossdreaming in your life forum but don't know how to move it.
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#1 [url]

Aug 27 16 10:48 AM

Let it stay here! The topic is perfect for this forum as well.

At its best my crossdreaming brings some of the same feelings you are describing here. Although I sometimes feel I am missing out on something very essential, as I find myself unable to crossdress. I am starting to understand that the since the dress up part is a physical thing, --texture, skin, sensation, body -- it also makes it easier to FEEL the good side of crossdreaming.

Without the crossdressing part crossdreaming sometimes remains in your head, and as you so vividly explains it, it is so much more than that!

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#2 [url]

Aug 27 16 9:52 PM

Jack, I actually feel that crossdressing is superfluous unless there is someone to see me. I know others will feel differently, but crossdreaming works fine with me when I am alone. :)

I have to admit that feeling the fabric of a dress against my skin is very very nice though. Having a bra also helps with the anatomical aspects. I would love to try breast forms but haven't had the chance yet. But it doesn't really feel fulfiling unless there is someone to see me as a girl. Except for painting my nails -- I find that to be a very good for stress relief, and it can be hidden easily when I just do my toes. I have a secret part of my femme self that I can go anywhere with.

I have been trying to think about all the positive aspects of crossdreaming after hating myself for most of my life for not being cis. What I feel during deep crossdreaming is very special -- I don't know anything else like it. I wouldn't want to lose it. It feels like an essential part of myself.

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#3 [url]

Aug 28 16 8:22 AM

Sofie wrote:

I have been trying to think about all the positive aspects of crossdreaming after hating myself for most of my life for not being cis. What I feel during deep crossdreaming is very special -- I don't know anything else like it. I wouldn't want to lose it. It feels like an essential part of myself.


that's so great, petal! xxx

crossdreaming is inevitably a yearning, yet it's also a realising (as in 'achieving') as well. by feeling the trans feelings i am being, inhabiting, expressing my f self, and that feels deeply good. at best it can feel like a coming home, like a fundamental reconnection with a deep part of myself, a return to wholeness. this feeling can often produce tears - grief for the past (and intermittently still present) loss of this connection.

and there's also a cloud of uncertainty in that of course i'm not really sure what it's about, how to interpret it or what to do with it. in terms of what to do with it i veer between a stuckness - no really satisfying place to take it - and a feeling that there are levels and levels of acceptance: as i accept my transness more deeply i inhabit deeper levels of myself, i incorporate inwardly the femininity i crave, which feels wonderful. xx

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#4 [url]

Aug 28 16 3:17 PM

Deborah Kate wrote:

Sofie wrote:

I have been trying to think about all the positive aspects of crossdreaming after hating myself for most of my life for not being cis. What I feel during deep crossdreaming is very special -- I don't know anything else like it. I wouldn't want to lose it. It feels like an essential part of myself.

crossdreaming is inevitably a yearning, yet it's also a realising (as in 'achieving') as well. by feeling the trans feelings i am being, inhabiting, expressing my f self, and that feels deeply good. at best it can feel like a coming home, like a fundamental reconnection with a deep part of myself, a return to wholeness. this feeling can often produce tears - grief for the past (and intermittently still present) loss of this connection.

and there's also a cloud of uncertainty in that of course i'm not really sure what it's about, how to interpret it or what to do with it. in terms of what to do with it i veer between a stuckness - no really satisfying place to take it - and a feeling that there are levels and levels of acceptance: as i accept my transness more deeply i inhabit deeper levels of myself, i incorporate inwardly the femininity i crave, which feels wonderful. xx


I really like this new thread! Crossdreaming for me is both an aching yearning but as Sofie said, also an essential part of myself that, when that yearning fades as it does from time to time, I miss it.  It's such an integral part of me and what I am. 

I do like crossdressing too, although at this point only in the privacy of my home.  It would feel great to go out and about as female but to do that would require a large investment of time, money, and energy that I worry would feel more like getting into costume that just being myself.  At home it doesn't matter if I don't have long hair, real breasts, or a natural female waistline.  I'm just doing what I do normally while wearing a dress or leggings and a top.  

At night I often wear a simple longsleeved cotton nightgown.  It feels warm and cozy and I love the feeling of the long skirt. My wife was so surprised when she saw them.  She'd assumed that I would want some sort of hypersexualized satiny babydoll.  I would, sure, in my crossdreams but I know that the reality would fall very short of what I picture in my mind.  I think my choice of nightgown also helped my wife understand that what I am and my feelings are not a fetish, they are just part of me.  In case anyone's interested here's a link to Amazon's webpage for the nightgown.  It's inexpensive too!

Del Rossa Women's Guinevere Cotton Nightgown, Long Poplin Victorian Sleepwear​

Hugs,

Emma

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#5 [url]

Sep 2 16 9:14 AM

Sofie wrote:
One thing I love about crossdreaming and crossdressing is that I feel things that are completely different from anything else. I feel like all stress leaves my body. A warm, pleasant sensation comes over me that makes me feel very peaceful. My whole body becomes much more sensitive to touch and feeling something soft is so nice. All my senses in general become more sensitive. I may or may not get aroused depending on the fantasy. I love to be hugged and cuddled, but even moreso when crossdreaming. I like to be treated very gently.

 

This is a very interesting and beautiful description. My crossdreaming have changed from being primarily auto-erotic to being more sensual, calming and relaxing.

I come to think of my work with Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT). In this therapy model it is assumed, that there are three general brain systems regulating emotions.
  • Threat  and Protection                                  (RED)
  • Achievement and Pleasure                         (BLUE)
  • Contentment, Soothing and Connection   (GREEN)
​(http://cbtfortherapists.blogspot.com/2013/03/10-things-i-learnt-from-compassion.html)

For some of us. the red system is overactive from early in life, which leads to problems such as shame, depression and anxiety. This can be due to inherital factors, but for me relational and health trauma also meant a lot. The social stigma of being a crossdreamer probably doesn't help either, but my threat system was hyperactive long time before I started having fantasies about womens clothes (and the shame it gave me).

I could only experience the feminine side of me through the auto-erotic pleasure of the blue system.


Only later, when I learned to soothe myself and generate more compassion for myself, I have been able to live "in the green system" for more time. This change also allowed me to start experience crossdreaming as a beautiful, serene and soothing activity. The fact that I am older and have less testosterone probably also help.

But for me, turning the volume down in regards to threat and protection and turning the volume up on contentment, soothing and compassion is very clearly changing my crossdreaming.

Thanks for your beautiful description.

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#6 [url]

Sep 2 16 9:58 AM

I'm going to ask a rhetorical question here: Why do people flock to movies that have endings so sad, that they make you cry? The answer for me is that they connect with something deep within me that I need to feel or express. That was a key element in my cross dreaming. In my adolescence, my dreams were pretty much like a lot of others I have read here and elsewhere. Somehow I was magically transformed into a girl, and it was a big turn on. That was pretty much it, in the beginning. But increasingly as the years went on, my cross dreams became colored with a lot of emotion, especially sadness. In my dreams, my real male life was an injustice done to me, and my transformation into a feminine body was its resolution. I then could love and be as I really was. It was all highly romantic, beautiful and sad at the exact same time..

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#7 [url]

Sep 2 16 10:38 AM

i'm here to echo and thank Sofie when she describes so beautifully how dressing and dreaming are avenues through which she can leave the stress of the cis-mandated life behind and be someone free from the traumas encountered there... and also natasha and april... all of you have written things that give me insight into what i am and who i am... thanks!!!

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#8 [url]

Mar 24 17 8:53 AM

Yes, yes! Crossdreaming makes me warm, sensitive and calm. That fact, that I have male body didn't bother me, because body sends right signals. Or is it my mind, that interprets signals from body in the right way? Maybe it is, because I feel connected to my being when crossdreaming, and sometimes, in high moment I feel like I'm one with the world, without clear separation. Or is it internal connection with something (or someone?) very important?

I have written about one of such high experiences at my blog: http://barbara-haskell.crossdreamlife.lefora.com/bloggy/post/pid/52947. (Sorry, link is for forum members only).

Crossdressing ... there would be undertones of uneasiness, fear of be discovered, even if it's irrational fear, and this "not being at ease" will subtly damage the whole experience. For now, it would be better to leave crossdreaming as mind-only thing. But idea of crossdressing for having constant reminder, to keep myself in that beautiful sensitive state, is a good idea to me.

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#9 [url]

Mar 26 17 4:01 AM

@Barbara,

I wonder if this sense of "rightness" you are referring to, the feeling of being IN the world in a good way, is related to something Joseph Campbell talks about. He calls it "Bliss", the feeling you have when you have found your calling and is living your calling, whether that is to be an artist, a police man, a teacher or a nurse. You are doing what you were born to do, and the feeling of harmony reflects that.

In our case somehing is out of alignment, but when you crossdream you get that feeling of being where you are supposed to be in a way.
 

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#10 [url]

Mar 27 17 6:57 AM

I do not know, is it a "Bliss" or not, but sense of harmony and meaning of life is deeply connected to crossdreaming for me. The following quote says a lot to me:

Bliss is that deep, fulfilling, sustainable, driving need you have. That thing that is the true ‘you’. Your bliss is your life’s purpose. Your bliss gives your otherwise meaningless life meaning.

Even if I can't put into the words, what is the meaning of life, this sense is still here. This is strange, because common sense says that life calling should be found in doing something, not being someone. Scherlock Holmes puts it in a different way: "My mind is like a racing engine, tearing itself to pieces because it is not connected up with the work for which it was built". This makes me think a lot, is there a single "true calling"? What if Sherlock was born in society, where crimes are somehow absent. Would he become a pathfinder, shaman, scientist?

When some important, central part of psyche is working, it can be seen as being true self. For Scherlock it was his analytical powers. For me, it's probably anima, who demands work. Who wants to live, to do somethng, to experience something. For her, resting without anything to do is just a meaningless existence.

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#11 [url]

Mar 27 17 11:28 PM

This makes me think a lot, is there a single "true calling"? What if Sherlock was born in society, where crimes are somehow absent. Would he become a pathfinder, shaman, scientist?


I suspect that instead of a concrete calling (I was meant to be a nurse), we all have a unique potential (I am good at understanding and healing human suffering), and that the bliss follows from being able to use that potential for something good and meaningful.

The potential would be the being part, while the good work would be the expression of that being. In your case your anima needs to be unfolded in the world, so to speak.
 

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#12 [url]

May 8 17 3:36 AM

When I crossdream I feel a sense of bliss and arousal, but when I cross dress I feel a sense of peace, and sociability as I prefer to have company (my wife is the only person I am out to)

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#13 [url]

May 12 17 1:25 PM

When I dress up the most important feeling for me is that it feels correct and that I am actually being me. In other words complete honesty with myself and a sense of absolute happiness that goes along with it.I smile far more often and I can openly talk about my feelings without any worries and I also become more assertive and confident. I also find my mind becomes extremely focused on any tasks I have to do. At one point when I learnt to come to terms with my nature the guilt, shame and fear which used to consume my every waking moment seemed to evaporate and thankfully now there is very little of that left there apart from some old negative thoughts which occasionally rear their ugly head.Sometimes dressing can make me feel very erotic, extremely desirable in my mind’s eye and even playful but that is only one small aspect of my thoughts and is entirely dependent on my whims and moods. Quite often there is no sexual element present at all and all I feel is an overwhelming sensation of goodness, positivity and rightness with what I am doing.Thankfully through my own self-acceptance I have managed to bring most of these dressed related feelings into my everyday male life and part of that was due to no longer seeing a distinction between both sides of myself. Once I chose to embrace my femininity and not bury it or compartmentalise I like to think I became the complete me at last and I feel so much better for doing it. I find I can live as a man and limit my female dressing when I unfortunately have to because a large part of me is always thinking as a woman or at least that’s how I perceive myself now. 

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