#41 [url]

Oct 3 16 8:28 PM

And I'm not even that intelligent, I have come to realize over the years. But I'm beyond caring. I know my paradise is just over the horizon a few decades away, so what does it matter? I'm a bimbo and I know what I need. And it isn't brains.

How are you a bimbo if you discovered Nietzche?????  Being sarcastic, eh?

I'm still trying to understand the fundamental ideas in Existentialism......and the affiliation between woman and death...... the virgin Artemis and the ever-so-productive "Mother" Nature.......and more stuff that keep me from sleeping.........

Marilyn Monroe was the classic bimbo, yet she read James Joyce's Ulyssess in her spare time, and she settled for an introverted playwright for a second husband, Arthur Miller.

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#42 [url]

Oct 3 16 8:46 PM

Oh I know about Simon Baron-Cohen, he of the 'extreme male brain' theory. Seems like he's missed something, given how so many of these formally aspie computer geek types keep proving him wrong by coming out as trans women in their late 20s or 30s...

Still as long as the funding stream keeps coming in he gets to go to all the conferences with the worried mothers and fathers, desperately searching for answers for whatever is to be done for their disabled sons and daughters. 

It's quite funny, I was still at school when Ali G first stated doing his spots on 'The 11 o'clock show', and someone told me that he'd actually been to Cambridge University which at first glance seemed to me rather unlikely.  ;-)

It's all about science, it's very important you know.. " target="_blank" rel="nofollow">

I guess I was I bit dense, but Sacha has done quite a bit else since and show his versatility. Borat, Bruno, The Dictator, Sweeney Todd, Les Miserables, Alice through the looking glass, etc. 

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#43 [url]

Oct 3 16 8:59 PM

 I learned from you, Xora, that the hyper-masculine male brain is the transwoman brain. Some friends I know are highly technologically gifted precisely because of their transgender traits.  

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#44 [url]

Oct 4 16 2:20 PM

Xora, Have you considered the possibility that there are multiple conditions impacting the gender identity spectrum, and that two totally separate conditions might have some overlapping consequences? There may indeed be some trans people who have behavior traits as your theory suggests, but there are trans people who also seem to be very different than all that. I go to a trans support group meeting, and I might see a majority of them as your kind of trans. I go an alternative lifestyle club, and I see a very different kind of trans, The two populations seem to have very little in common, except that they are identify as trans.

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#45 [url]

Oct 4 16 3:19 PM

Oh I'm sure we're very different. The Paris Lees type of transwoman just always was fully a girl from birth, and she knew she was. I can't imagine her ever being any different, she was never able to hide it, and was apparently off out after men even as a teenager.


I'm more of the half-and-half type, I know the trans bit of me is sort of there in my subconcious, sometimes more sometimes less. I didn't even seriously think I wanted to be a girl till my mid-teens, and I'm still pretty scared of letting go and just being 'her', whoever she is. It's sort of like two personalities fighting it out, one that's tied into my physical body, emotions and sex drive, but that doesn't get out much, and another that's my waking conciousness which most of the time tries to pretend that the other doesn't exist, except as a thought-stream that's kind of constantly running through my head getting in the way of what I'm trying to achieve.

So perhaps I have a Paris Lees type personality co-processor, where my main core is more of a Winstone Churchill type. 
Like if I weren't somewhat mixed up in the head and queer, I'd probably have been more of that sort, which is kinda a different 'class' to Paris Lees.
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I'm sort of a mix or two incompatible gene pools. Part of me thinks I should really have that kind of authority and be a natural leader, while another part really doesn't want the long term responsibilty of that and wants to have fun and to be led, but only by someone I really think is 'above me', (I'm not sure how I mean 'above me', I don't think I mean in wealth/status, perhaps in intellect, certainly in the 'executive function' bits I seem to lack, but they'd also have to have a really good sense of humour.). which is quite tricky to find and I'm not having much luck. The more Paris Lees part of me hates that people like her are always under the thumb of the Winstone Churchill types, who think they are so posh and intellectual but don't have a clue how the real world works. Except that I've not much of a clue about that kind of thing either, and I also like being the intellectual type on occasion.
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I love this expression, I think you call that an "I can't even... " kind of moment.
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If I'm that confusing to me, imagine how I must come across to other people..
I've never met anyone quite like me anyway, and I don't have a social life outside of my family.



I just watched this video of Sophie Wilson. I dunno why she's such a heroine of mine when I don't really know that much about her. I mean, obviously everyone knows about Steve Jobs, but Sophies bit of work was a fairly big chunk of making all those smartphones and tablets possible, not to mention the innumerable other devices we take for granted all around us nowadays. Just think of there being 50 billion ARM CPU cores, compared to a world population of 9 billion people, and that even people like Elvis Presley and the Beatles only sold about 2 billion records each.  It's pretty amazing that anyone can design something so well they make that many copies of it, though obviously not all the credit goes to her. Still she'd never have managed to have that many children even if she had been born with a womb and kept herself pretty busy. ;-)

Anyway, you can tell she's a bit 'off' in how she communicates, like there is way more going on in her head than she is able to explain or express, and a part of her is still working things out in CPU instructions when she's answering complicated technical questions. That's probably more my kind of trans, though I'd really like to be the kind that can go out clubbing occasionally too, maybe one day. I did feel very different when I messed around with the hormones a bit so maybe it's possible to have the best of both worlds.

Last Edited By: Xora Oct 4 16 3:28 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#46 [url]

Oct 4 16 5:13 PM

April wrote:
Xora, Have you considered the possibility that there are multiple conditions impacting the gender identity spectrum, and that two totally separate conditions might have some overlapping consequences? There may indeed be some trans people who have behavior traits as your theory suggests, but there are trans people who also seem to be very different than all that. I go to a trans support group meeting, and I might see a majority of them as your kind of trans. I go an alternative lifestyle club, and I see a very different kind of trans, The two populations seem to have very little in common, except that they are identify as trans.
April, I think what you're saying is true. There are lots of different, inscrutable and mysterious pathways that lead some people to being trans, and the causes of autism spectrum brains are also variable. For example, i have no idea if my autistic traits have the same cause as other people on the spectrum, and am not sure if there is any brain scan or genetic test that can shine a light on this. Simon Baron Cohen's Extreme Male Brain hypothesis is not proven, and there is lots of criticism of it all over the web, which you can easily find through Google. I also think that Xora's idea that SBC's hypothesized extreme male brain = transwoman or transgender brain is simply untrue. I'm sure there are lots of very smart autistic cis men and women who would mightily dispute this assertion, and I'm sure that very few of them harbor a frustrated desire to be Anna Nicole Smith. I wonder what the autistic transwoman blogger with a Ph.D in Biology that I posted about recently would say about this. http://the-orbit.net/splainyouathing/2016/09/05/trans-autistic-weird-common/

Like I've posted before, there is strong evidence that there are more gender variant/trans people among the autistic population then there are in the general population, and there are more autistic people among the population of people under the trans umbrella than there are in the general population—the big, shiny, weird, variegated and puzzling intersection of gender variance and neuroatypicality, the town I happen to live in. Anything more than this is just speculation and fantasy. *ahem* smiley: grin

"I could have been wild and I could have been free 
But nature played this trick on me..."

-The Smiths

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#47 [url]

Oct 5 16 4:12 AM

Well I'm sure it's a 'spectrum', and everyone falls somewhere slightly different on the bell curve, and I'm right out there on the right, > 1.02.
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It's a very broad 'spectrum', a wide variety of differences in how people naturally think and behave, in how they think about themselves, and in how other people think about them, or about people that look like them.. 
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Extreme feminine = eyes further apart, flatter wider nose, shorter face, larger more rounded head
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There's also the cause->effect issue of how these things seem to develop over time...

In the beginning there was the 'word', or was it called the 'logos', or whatever.. 
Ok, maybe that's going just a bit too far back into the mists of time..

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Let's jump ahead a bit and simplify and say our 'western' european/american society, is founded on an ancient religious text, full of obscure myths and stories, that strongly prohibits certain kinds of sexual 'immorality', and consists of a mixture of two distinct gene pools, homo-sapiens and neanderthals. The neanderthal women have much bigger, more robust and often much more curvacious bodies than the homo-sapiens women, and they sexually mature much more slowly, and they have a very different reproductive strategy. They don't just randomly hook up with anything that moves, they will put in an immense amount of mental effort to fully understand the world around them, and they learn to do whatever it takes to make themselves very well known to the local community, so they can find themselves a suitably wealthy, and somewhat genetically compatible sperm donor, with whom they intend to pair-bond for at least the next 7 years, or for however long it takes, while they put in a lot of effort to bring up the kids to be somewhat more self-sufficient...

Mostly these people happily exist side-by-side, occupying their separate social worlds. The homo sapiens don't usually realise how much more intelligent the neanderthals actually are, as the social world that is built up around them just seems to fit them like a glove, and they somewhat happily go to work, doing simple tricks for tokens with very little intrinsic value, they also like to dance, drink, play games and fuck and live happy if somewhat short lives and they seem to reproduce like crazy...
 
Occasionally these two species interbreed, as those rarer but fully male neaderthals seem to want to put it about a bit, not caring too much where their sperm end up, as they can't be held responsible. The offspring they produce are half homo-sapiens and half neanderthal, and often rather confused and 'different'. Finding themselves not fully belonging fully to either culture. A partly neanderthal baby, developing in the womb of a homo-sapiens woman, maybe doesn't get quite the right sort of mix of hormones, they might expect in a more neanderthal womb, and comes out a bit 'queer'. They maybe think like a baby girl neanderthal, but look like a baby boy homo-sapiens, are born into a mostly homo-sapiens family, and the ignorant homo-sapiens mother just expects that they will grow up to be a man just, like their 'father'. But these things are not actually socially learned behaviours, and as the child matures they feel more and more different from all the homo-sapiens boys they are expected to hang out with, and they wonder why

Now depending on the historical era, different things might happen. If it were still the middle ages, and you pop into the world, the people around you decide, well you're very strange, and you don't seem to want to do what we expect, so what's to become of you? They pack you off to the monastery, where the older monks are also those 'strange' people like you, and they look after you, and when you're a bit older it's then your turn to look after the next generation of 'strange' kids coming up the ranks.

Over the centuries these things tend to evolve, the monks don't just keep on copying out the bible and sewing cassocks, they also keep detailed records of everything going on around them. In time they become 'centres of learning', and then 'universities'. We have the 'enlightenment' giving us a comprehensive system of knowledge we call 'science', and this 'science' begets a myriad of arcane technical specialisms, up to and including building magnetic resonance imaging scanners, and also including the detailed study of other people's behaviour, perhaps even that of children, or what we now call like to call 'developmental psychology'.

So along comes someone like Hans Asperger, a trained child psychologist, who gets called in to study a number of these 'strange' boys, and he mostly sees them at ages 6 or 7, when they are kind of passive and docile, seemingly very interested in studying the world around them, but not very interested in acting like regular homo-sapiens boys. He notices that though they are considered 'strange' they are all strange in fairly consistent ways. So the boys that behave in these consistently strange ways must all have a condition, a developmental anomaly, way hey a new condition, I'll be famous, I know I'll call it autistic-psychopathy. It turns out that these boys have very good long term memories, remember lots of arcane technical details, and are very good at sitting in one place for a long time studying things, and making finely detailed things with their hands. (Hmm, didn't we once call doing something like that 'illuminating'...) 

And do you know what, these kinds of boys often grow up to be the people we call doctors, and maybe some can even become psychologists, like me..
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Around the same time we have someone else called Magnus Hirshfeld, another one of these 'doctor' types with his long flowing white lab coat. But he studies a slightly different population of people, these are adult 'men' who as they get older seem to keep thinking that they really ought to be women and want to dress up more and more so as to look like them. Another strange and fascinating condition, I know, we'll call it transvestic fetishism, which which begats transsexualism, which begats gender identity disorder, which begats gender dysphoria.
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Then along comes someone called Lorna Wing, who says, do you know, those boys that Hans Asperger studied 80 years ago in Germany, well they seem to have a very similar condition to the one that this other guy Kanner studied in America. Both sets are similarly living in their own private worlds and are not particurly communicative or empathetic, but one set seems to be a lot more intellectual than the other. I know, I'll call the whole thing the autism spectrum. There seem to be an increasing number of these boys nowadays, whatever are we to do with them all? We really need to set up some kind of foundation or charity to support them and study them.

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Hey isn't this the strangest thing, apparently a lot of these strange boys with this funny kind of autism, often have a childhood history of behaving much more like girls. Well we'll soon put them right about that, if you carry on acting like that you will get beaten up, or put on anti-psychotics, or given ECT, but isn't is strange how it's so very common for these 'autistic' boys and men to say they are actually girls, or want to be girls?

A few years later..

Hey isn't this also the strangest thing, all these people that now show up at our new expensive 'gender identity' clinics, have a childhood history of behaving in the ways which we classify as 'autistic', or they were told they were 'autistic' when they were school kids or teenagers, but now they say they were actually girls all along, but they must just be really confused, you know, because of their 'autism' condition.

Till finally we come to something like this..

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22500012

and this..

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26989195

Which basically tells us what we knew all along, that the people with the more androgynous brains, behave in more androgynous ways, and some of them eventually actually do want to finally have sex in the way that actually feels more right to them, and produces the desired effect.. (Coz calling out 'God' in the throws of ecstacy just doesn't really cover it..)

Now where are all those big strong male neanderthals hiding out, coz it has been rather a long time, and I'm still here just waiting for a proper boyfriend to return as he promised to do before the end of time..
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Last Edited By: Xora Nov 3 16 3:15 AM. Edited 4 times.

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#48 [url]

Oct 9 16 7:48 AM

lal2828 wrote:

And I'm not even that intelligent, I have come to realize over the years. But I'm beyond caring. I know my paradise is just over the horizon a few decades away, so what does it matter? I'm a bimbo and I know what I need. And it isn't brains.

How are you a bimbo if you discovered Nietzche?????  Being sarcastic, eh?

I'm still trying to understand the fundamental ideas in Existentialism......and the affiliation between woman and death...... the virgin Artemis and the ever-so-productive "Mother" Nature.......and more stuff that keep me from sleeping.........

Marilyn Monroe was the classic bimbo, yet she read James Joyce's Ulyssess in her spare time, and she settled for an introverted playwright for a second husband, Arthur Miller.

Gonna make a habit of answering your own questions, sugar? image

I could recommend Finnegan's Wake. Nothing like it if you are in desperate need of flushing your mindscape of substance litter and useless thought junk: "riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs."

...What?

Maybe that's what Miss Monroe was doing?

Oh, I've been sort of a devout worshipper of The Great Mother for many years. But there are many sides to the goddess, many aspects of her, hence her numerous manifestations as different goddesses. One person's idea of the goddess may emphasize attributes that are the diametrical opposite to the vision of another. A hall of mirrors, each reflecting a different image from a particular perspective, or when it comes down to it, maybe just several independent deities after all...

Think I could explain the fundamental ideas of existentialism if you really want it. But it's got to be the subject of another, specifically dedicated reply.

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#49 [url]

Oct 9 16 9:11 AM

Well, what is most probable cause of autism? Prenatal hormone imbalance looks like a good candidate. What is most probable cause of misaligned gender identity? Surprise! Prenatal hormone imbalance. And more surprise, homosexuality is also can be result of... prenatal hormone imbalance.

As I see it there is no coincidence. Now I can only speculate and guess, but everything looks fine to me.

Assume, that main cause of prenatal hormone imbalance is stress. When your living conditions is not good, you will be stressed. Behaviour of the next generations need be altered, or at least needs to be more diverse. Best course to well-beiing of species can lie in altered gender roles, different social interactions, generally in everything. But old ways clearly would not work, they causes too much stress.

So, from evolutionary viewpoint, being trans, autistic, having different sexual orientation and probably many other traits for now unknown, is in general about being different, which is necessary to adaptation and survival of species as the whole. If very similar hormonal patterns can cause autism and transgender conditions, there is no surprise, but more interesting question is, what else can come at nature call of being different?

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#50 [url]

Oct 12 16 3:45 AM

Well, these genetic remnants of the different vestigial 'races' are still all around us, each with their own personality characteristics and goals,
you can see it in peoples faces once you roughly know what to look for..

Or see it in more exagerated forms in popular dramas..
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Hmm, a helmet with a pair of wings.. and yeah, a few years ago now I did feel something rather odd running up my spine, and my 'third eye' thingy sometimes gives me tingles, but I don't think it's gonna physically open up anytime soon. It's weird all the different belief systems that exist, how are we supposed to know if these 'Chakras' are actually a 'thing' or just made up to sell you shit? It's not part of 'allopathic' medicine, but nowadays a awful lot of that seems to be stuff that was just made up to sell you shit as well.. 
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It's been a long time, getting from there to here..
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Sometimes they seem to come back more strongly than others..
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Genetic mutation may lead to autism subtype

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To me, an 'extreme male brain' looks a lot more like this one..
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or
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but he's just a 'toff' tory, and not exactly a big strong guy. so totally not hot, at least to me..

For that you need someone a bit more like this, but he's maybe rather fierce looking, might scare the kids..
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So just who out there would make for proper husband material..
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You can like the life you're living, you can live the life you like, you can even marry Harry, but mess around with Icke?


Ew, oh, whatever..
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Last Edited By: Xora Nov 3 16 8:55 AM. Edited 1 time.

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#51 [url]

Oct 12 16 8:06 AM

Xora wrote:
Oh I so wish I could be trashy, just for a bit, without looking completely ridiculous or getting beaten up.

Once upon a time, many years ago, I so wanted to be able to go out looking like this. 
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Or just let loose a bit of the psycho bitch I seem to have bottled up inside, just sometimes...
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What's is empathy anyway? I really don't care..
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Trust me honey, trashy Xora sex goddess, even psycho bitch Xora, is still in there. She is only awaiting the safe moment to come out and turn the world upside down. It's a matter of world and self being aligned. (Here, most people - especially trans people - make the mistake to think they must accomodate themselves to the world, while it's really the world (our bodies included), which lacks the warm, deliciously slippery, calm and safe ambience to be useful as the playground for our desires. So I blame the world. For all of it. We are doing exactly the right thing being the insolent 12-year old little wench and hate our lives!)

So, in other words, here's what I think: your fear of "looking completely ridiculous" is only due to you having projected all your mental energy into a big "To be, or not to be"-question in relation to this particular version of life in the given world you are currently inhabiting. While "looking completely ridiculous" is what you really want and wanted all along. Your fantasies are purer than this world of limitation that you imagine yourself you are projecting your dreams against.

Supreme Gnostic Bitch, Serpent Priestess Monique, hath spoken. image


"What's empathy anyway? I really don't care."

Hahaha hahaha!  ... image

Have you ever wondered why erotic pleasure is at its most blissful only in the moment our ethical judgement is completely and utterly suspended? Why is that?

Last Edited By: Monique Oct 12 16 10:03 AM. Edited 2 times.

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#52 [url]

Oct 12 16 8:40 AM

Xora, I don't want to sound like I am piling on, but I have to agree completely with Monique here. I have read your posts for a number of years now with great fascination.You exactly know what you are and what you want to be, and yet you always analyze yourself out of it.Of course you will be crummy at first. But you will learn and get better. Just get on HRT, buy some cute clothes, and practice doing your makeup. The rest will fall into place soon enough.

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#53 [url]

Oct 24 16 4:02 AM

Science paper on autism and transgender

Gender Variance Among Youth with Autism Spectrum Disorders: A Retrospective Chart Review
Study shows overrepresentation of gender variance among patients with autism.

Purpose: Increasing clinical evidence suggests an overrepresentation of gender variance (GV) among patients with autism spectrum disorders (ASDs). This retrospective chart review aims to contribute to the existing literature on co-occurring ASD and gender dysphoria (GD). We compare the rate of parent-reported GV in patients with an ASD diagnosis to that of parent-reported GV in a normative nonreferred data set

.Methods: Child Behavior Checklist (CBCL) charts were collected from 492 children and adolescents (409 natal males and 83 natal females) aged 6–18 years who have received a diagnosis of ASD at the New York University Child Study Center. Parent-reported GV was determined through endorsement of CBCL sex item 110, which assesses the presence of gender-related issues. We calculated the odds ratio of endorsement of item 110 between our ASD sample and the CBCL sample data.

Results: The subjects diagnosed with ASD were 7.76 times more likely to report GV than the CBCL sample. This finding was statistically significant. About 5.1% of the patients in the ASD group and 0.7% of the CBCL nonreferred group endorsed sex item 110. 5.1% of natal males and 4.8% of natal females endorsed sex item 110. Neither gender nor age influenced the rate of endorsement

.Conclusion: This finding supports the growing research suggesting a heightened co-occurrence rate of ASD and GD. Focus should be placed upon improving our understanding of the nature of this co-occurrence and on gender identity development within the atypical development of ASD.

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#55 [url]

Oct 26 16 3:01 AM

I think a lot of what they are seeing as 'autism' is just the consequences of their being gender variant, but either not knowing, or knowing and then trying to hide it, or knowing and then adapting their personality accordingly, and then subsequently mostly forgetting and suppressing it, as they try to identify with what they see as more 'positive' role models in their local environment..
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Taken from here

Gynephilic MtFs are profoundly ambivalent in their sexuality. They are more masculine than androphilic MtFs and more feminine than normal men, yet they are not fuzzily intermediate either. Their feminine aspect is intense, and their masculine aspects may be equally so, and the two mutually irreconcilable. Their public personality must be built around one or the other of these. In transition mode, they may madden psychologists by marking down the views of both their traditional male and their newly liberated female on the same survey; but it would be less than candid of them to do otherwise, for both attitudes are perfectly real depending on which sex they conceive themselves to be.Unlike their androphilic sisters, gynephilic MtFs can usually pass as somewhat believable males. This does not mean that they are "unremarkably masculine", though an imperceptive observer might suppose so. It just means that they can pass, and usually make an effort to do so. Any discussion of their behavior prior to transition needs to take account of the enormity of the social stigma that falls upon any blatantly effeminate male. The androphilic MtFs take their hit up front. They can't pass, and have little interest in trying. So they grow up openly girlish, at the very bottom of the social pecking order. The gynephilic MtFs meet rebuke for girlish behavior, and learn to suppress the behavior. They find acceptance and reasonable respect in their society contingent upon not showing any obviously feminine habits. In childhood, when their libido is low, they buy into their expected role and identify as boys. They are never jocks or studs, and they are painfully conscious of feminine weakness ever lying just below their cultivated surface. Since masculinity doesn't come naturally to them, they never become alpha males. But they find they can achieve status through the route of pursuing arcane specialties, so as to become the class brain or artist or clown or whatever. Since femininity is dangerous to their tenuous social standing, they may take care never to pursue traditionally female activities. Instead of playing with dolls, which would be an obvious giveaway, they may put together models instead, which is perhaps the nearest thing to dolls that boys are allowed to fuss with.Puberty is a bit of a nightmare for gynephilic MtFs. They find themselves inundated with female sexual feelings that they dare not let anyone discover. At the same time, their bodies are changing in ways they do not like. They are attracted to girls, yet have no idea of how to relate to them as boys. Bullying by their peers reaches a peak, and the bullies are rapidly attaining the formidible size and strength of adult men. Now if ever they must not show female weakness, yet their female sex fantasies are overpowering. They indulge these in private if possible, and seek abnormal amounts of privacy. Yet in public they remain resolutely male, and desperately seek ways to validate that maleness.

So, an outside observer, looking at one of these 'boys' at age 12 or so, won't see person as they were at 5 or 6, possibly role playing in the kitchen or looking after dolls, depending on their particular circumstances. They'll see someone who has already had years of learning experiences and positive and negative behavioural reinforcement, and may not even remember how they behaved when they were half their age, as now their main interest is talking about Pokemon or Sonic The Hedgehog, or maybe in my slightly earlier generation, building things with Lego Technic, or writing computer games in BASIC on BBCs and Spectrums, activities which were not socially coded as 'effeminate', but were hardly going out playing sports, building forts, or even considering chasing girls.

They are looking to measure behaviour, which I guess is all they think they can go on, not getting into the digit-ratio/phrenology stuff (which for some reason most still consider either pseudoscience or at very least socially taboo (because you know, eugenics/inequality take your pick..)).  But if they only look at behaviour, they are not understanding the thought process. You can selectively condition people in and out of lots of different external behaviours, but you can't change the thought process, or 'brain-loop' they run, because that's essentially set by the neural hardware / hormonal hemispheric lateralisation.

So, that, was basically a girl in a boys body, but maybe at that stage he actually didn't know it, or at least didn't think of it like that.
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At that age I wouldn't have said that I was a girl, I probably wouldn't have said that I wanted to be one either, I probably would have said that I didn't mind acting like one, in fact I really enjoyed many things that were coded as feminine, but body wise it just wasn't a pressing concern to me. I did often wonder why I could never seem to make any friends though.

But no one around him understood anything like that, or cared enough to find out, because he had 'autism', they just left him in a room with lots of toys and computer games, till a few years later they had something more like this on their hands..
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Which is somehow seen as a big surprise, and is to many a 'sick freak', and is something no one really knows exactly what to do with.

Hmm, Sonichu is that you? ;-) I thought that was supposed to be Baphomet..
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I really hope it doesn't turn out that our poor Chris-Chan was supposed to be the antichrist but he got diagnosed with autism instead and just stayed at home..

To an outside observer I'm kind of afraid that I may appear to fall into that kind of a category too, but I like to think that I'm a bit 'bigger on the inside'.
Half of me is rather like this..
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and the other half like this.. (Like I literally have much more of the cheekbone prominence thing on one side of my face than the other..)
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The social/communication difficulties that make up 'autism' are basically incompatible brain-loops meeting up and not syncing. To another 'neurotypical' who processes most things subconciously, if it looks like a male, it's also suppose to think like a male, and if it doesn't think like a male it's disabled, or at least has a personality disorder.

But that's the 'essential difference', for the 'autogynephilic' male the 'brain-loop' process isn't so much 'I really want to go out and fuck them, I want gaggle of hot girls on my arm', it's 'I want them to love me.., I don't want to hurt/disappoint anyone, I want a life of comfort and opulence, I want easy access to the best 'seed', and I want to produce the best offspring', which actually weights the basic psychological 'goal-system' in entirely the opposite direction than most people expect.
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For the normal male, the process of childhood socialisation is designed to suppress the 'rough edges' of the normal male process. Instead of waving your dick around you have to dress nicely, instead of beating up other people and taking their stuff you have to learn a skill and get a job to show your status, and instead of saying 'me Tarzan, you Jane', you have to learn 'game' to chat up the birds. For the normal female the process is the opposite, instead of running around naked you have to cover up but still look attractive, instead of being really slutty you have to be coy or you lose precious reputation status points, and instead of burning though other people's resources to build your dream house and get all those handbags and gladrags, you have to restrict your aqusitive impulses to what you can realistically afford, (or spend what you do have on your appearance/behaviour so that you can potentially attract a mate with more resources).

For those with 'autism spectrum disorder', the process is basically inverted. No one ever needed to condition me out of waving my dick around or beating someone else up, I just wasn't going to do that anyway. They did fairly strongly condition me out of dressing up too slutty, and drawing too much attention to myself, but no one really thought to strongly condition me out of just staying home, reading lots of books and playing with my toys and games, learning lots of neat tricks, and basically using up other people's resources until I was well into my twenties..

If you can successfully create an environment to capture every single one of those essential dynamics, and make it seem like it's the 'coolest place ever' to work, particularly if the participants you capture within the process are not very self-aware.. then you find you can make the really really big bucks.. and very quickly too.
Just sayin..
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Well, we can't seem to get them to collectively work on creating actual babies just yet, but they sure do love playing with and continually improving on the next best thing..
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Oh yeah, and that Keith Vaz, may never have found himself in a position where he had to sell his body for sex, but sure didn't mind being on the other side of the transaction..
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God you know, compared to how these so-called 'right honourable' people actually carry on behind closed doors, I'm basically a terrible prude.
I don't even want to actually behave like that, even in private, because I want to maintain a relatively clear conscience, or if not that exactly, at least because "if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear".  I actually think paying people for sex is 'wrong', not just because I'm a miser, but because it's supposed to be 'special', and if it has to be paid for then it isn't 'real'. (Hmm, on the other hand, I don't actually think I'd mind someone paying me all that much, moah easy moulah... but at this point it seems rather unlikely to happen.) 

Last Edited By: Xora Mar 10 17 9:13 AM. Edited 7 times.

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#56 [url]

Oct 26 16 8:34 AM

My Brief Journal Update:

* A boy in one of my learning groups is calling me his friend because I understand and have played the original version of The Legend of Zelda video game! (He doesn't know too many who can relate to this, he says!! Really???)  He told me that now there is a female version of the character of Link.  He doesn't like female Link........... neither do I.  I asked him why.  Kid says male Link holds a sword, while female Link holds a crossbow (that's my secondary weapon! I didn't tell him!)  The crossbow somehow doesn't compare to a sword, kid says.  Kid also thinks Link should save Ganondorf, instead of that "Damsel-in-distress-all-the-time" princess!!! Link and Ganondorf, as friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* I'm becoming a regular face at a fast-food Burger King restaurant frequently visited by grumpy old men in the morning when few people, like moms and kids, go in there!

* About a year or so ago, a teenage male shouted at me from across where I was sitting on the train to say that he noticed me reading a comic book about Greek gods! He said that he had the whole comic collection and would like to give it to me.  I said, "Thanks, no thanks."  (I was a random stranger on a train!!!!!!)  But as he and I were departing the station, he said that I was the only woman he knew who read god comic books!!!!!! (Can't be.) 

Last Edited By: lal2828 Dec 19 16 5:43 AM. Edited 2 times.

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#57 [url]

Dec 19 16 1:42 AM

The Link Between Autism and Trans Identity

The Link Between Autism and Trans Identity
Bryony White argues that confusion over why autism is so prevalent among transgender people may be limiting their access to medical care.

Research on the overlap between autism and gender diversity—a term used to define those who, either by nature or choice, do not conform to conventional gender-based expectations—is a relatively new field.

Earlier this year, Spectrum, a website dedicated to in-depth analyses of autism research, published an extensive investigation that explores this relatively untrodden ground, explaining that over the past five years, there have been only a handful of studies that trace a co-occurrence between the autism and gender diversity.

In one of the first major studies, carried out in Holland, researchers examined 204 children and adolescents who identified as gender-dysphoric—a condition where a person experiences discomfort or distress due to a mismatch between their biological sex and gender identity—and found a 7.8 percent prevalence of autism.

 Researchers in the field have speculated about the reasons behind this co-occurrence, but the social and cultural implications of this correlation are proving problematic for trans, autistic communities. Some health-care professionals are now telling trans individuals on the autism spectrum that the need to transition is a result of their autism—a classic misreading of causation versus correlation. And, as in Clarke’s case, the mistake appears to be limiting access to medical care. 

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#58 [url]

Dec 19 16 4:27 AM

Exactly, they are mixing up cause and effect, then turning around and saying something to the effect of
"You can't actually be 'trans', you just think you are because you are 'autistic', and this crazy idea you have cooked up in your head, egged on by the Tumblr brigade, is just a well-known symptom of your 'autism', and you need to be firmly dissuaded from taking it any further, before you throw your whole life away on some half-baked fantasy..".

Whichever way around you want to look at it, this is what the underlying biology of the 'condition' in question is..
Sex differences in autism: a resting-state fMRI investigation of functional brain connectivity in males and females.

Interestingly, patterns of hyper-connectivity in females with ASD reflected a shift towards the (high) connectivity levels seen in typical males (neural masculinization), whereas patterns of hypo-connectivity observed in males with ASD reflected a shift towards the (low) typical feminine connectivity patterns (neural feminization). Our data support the notion that ASD is a disorder of sexual differentiation rather than a disorder characterized by masculinization in both genders. Future work is needed to identify underlying factors such as sex hormonal alterations that drive these sex-specific neural expressions of ASD.


Look, parents, as a rule, don't want their kids to be 'queer', and especially not so queer that they want to have surgery before they have sex. 
Kids that are born that queer are a 'problem', and both the parents and the kids have two options, either comply or resist. 
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If the kids resist strongly enough and vocally enough from an early enough age, they get to be 'transkids' nowadays, if they try to conform but still get really socially anxious and often make a mess of it, they get to be labelled 'autistic', either way their brains are just not set up in the usual 'cisgender' sexually dimorphic way, which is always gonna make life more difficult for them in the long term.

Pathalogical Demand Avoidance Syndrome
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This is what someone with 'Asperger's' looks like..image

But one way around lets the parents look like martyrs for coping with their 'disabled/emotionally disturbed' offspring while still laying down the law on socially appropriate styles of dress, behaviour, educational choices and career paths for the gender that they percieve their precious offspring to be. The Transgender Movement Targets 'Autistic' Children

The other way around now also makes the parents look like martyrs, at least to social liberals and not the religious/conservatives, for going the extra mile to help out their children 'born in the wrong bodies', and getting them the help they need when they are still young enough for it to be effective. Mom, I need to be a girl, this is what a Transsexual child looks like.
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The question is, which set of children end up better off in the long run?

Which ones are still alive and thriving, reasonably socially competant, employed to something like their actual level of ability, and not really depressed and/or addicted to drugs and alcohol by the time they get to 40?
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This is what a transsexual woman looks like, provided they manage to start transitioning in their 20s..

She's an actual 'genius', and her tools and techniques have helped spawn an entire industry of large scale microprocessor design. (You probably wouldn't be reading this now if it wasn't for some of the work that she did at IBM or Xerox Parc, 40+ years ago).
She's probably ~40 years post-op now, still married to someone she loves, inducted into the Computer History Museum hall of fame, and she still hasn't killed herself, or anyone else, yet..
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When Lynn Conway was growing up, no one was going around telling people they had 'autism' unless they were really severe, and yes she struggled for years, and self-medicated on hormones, but somehow she managed to make it through a course in engineering at MIT, and get a good job at one of the biggest computer companies of the era, despite being also essentially a woman that was expected learn to act like a man, which isn't easy, trust me..

What is the actual point of your having children? Just coz you want to have sex and they are the unfortunate result? Or because you want some little helpers to do chores around the house? Is it let them be happy/successful and follow their own path to the best of their ability, or to make yourself look good for how well you can get them to behave/conform, or how you can tell your friends how hard it is to cope with their bad behaviour, and eventually how many exams you can get them to pass and credentials they can have after their names?
Which ones are more likely to want to stick around and look after you in your old age? Which ones are more likely to want to travel halfway across the continent to get away from what they see as their overly restrictive parents, and go and follow their dream by living in far more socially liberated cities when they are old enough to do so?
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Last Edited By: Xora Dec 19 16 10:22 AM. Edited 3 times.

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#59 [url]

Jan 12 17 6:04 AM

In the ongoing tradition of abusing science to invalidate trans people, Ken Zucker is back in the arena, courtesy of the BBC!!!

Children who think they are transgender 'could have autism' and are 'fixating' on their sex, says expert

Zucker apparently thinks that if there is a correlation between autism and gender dysphoria, transgender identities are not real. I don't know where these people learned about scientific methodology, but this is reductionism at its worst. Correlation does not equal causation, and even if it did, being autistisc and transgender does not mean that your gender identity can be reduced to an obsessive interest.

The Daily Mail sums it up like this:

 
  • Dr Kenneth Zucker said children may be suffering autism, anxiety or depression
  • He said the autistic trait of 'fixating' on subjects could convince children they are the wrong sex
  • He made the comments on a BBC documentary,  Transgender Kids: Who Knows Best?
  • Dr Zucker lost his job amid claims he was trying to 'cure' children 

Related discussion here: http://crossdreamlife.lefora.com/topic/789/Who-Knows-Best-BBC-Documentary

Last Edited By: jackmolay Jan 12 17 8:05 AM. Edited 1 time.

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#60 [url]

Jan 12 17 8:18 AM

You beat me to it, I was just about to post that one, since I do always consider both sides of the coin..
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I don't think he's right, we do just pick up 'random' interests and then doggedly pursue them to totally extreme ends sure.., but the common fixation on 'gender' itself, is not a 'random interest', it is the actual nature of the underlying biological condition. It's just that the culture we belong to still has an awful lot of 'pushback' built in, particulally from people like Zucker, so that what starts out as just a natural variation of human biology gets turned into a 'psychological pathology', and we are then forced to spend our entire lives spinning our wheels in one place rather than just being 'queer', which is really just what we are underneath.

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Personally I'd go one step further and say the 'developmental delay' is both biologically caused in terms of essentially trans* neurology and mismatched hormones and also in terms of environmental conditioning. People like Kim Petras and Jazz Jennings etc. could just as well have been diagnosed with 'autism' had they had less understanding parents, and seen less understanding doctors, pehaps people like Zucker..
But you only have to watch their youtube videos and things to see they are pretty much absolutely fine as they are, and are now much more 'well-adjusted' people, just by living as girls, than the likes of Chris-Chan, or even Bill Gates and Paul Allen, who despite having both a massive yaught and man-made private island, still can't seem to get no satisfaction in life..

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I mean, I do get it, for people born in the early 1950s there was even more ingrained cultural 'pushback' against been seen as too obviously queer than there was for me growing up in the 80s and 90s, though that time George Micheal got arrested for 'lewd behaviour' was still big news back then, and nowadays they probably figure it's too late to do much about it, and anyway, he's an actual billionaire, so he can probably now do whatever he wants safely away from prying eyes. It's just that all this software stuff is causing a bit of a mess with the rest of the world economy and so forth, but it's no biggie... what's a few trillion dollars in national debt between friends.., far better that than letting someone call you a 'tranny' anyway...



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Sometimes it's just about finding that Relative Happiness, well that and eventually getting old enough that you start to run
out of those pesky older relatives that might disapprove of your terrible lifestyle choices..
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Last Edited By: Xora Jan 12 17 8:46 AM. Edited 3 times.

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