Well that's kind of what I think, it's not so much that we don't know what we want, we do know what we want, we just know we don't want to face the consequences of being what we are and doing what we want, so we invest a lot of energy in doing the opposite of what we want, or at least in not doing what we want, but depending on our level of social intuition and acting ability may or may not be able to pull it off very effectively. No one should be expected to have to try to live out their entire lives double-thinking every word and motion, it's just too exhausting to be worth it.
So you have a bunch of older people trying very very hard to be what they aren't, and a lot of them just come off as really awkward, and often remain awkward for decades, and miss out on a lot of the life they could have been living, but so many of the neurotypicals seem to think that an entire lifetime of being really stressed and awkward is somehow an improvement on being a open transsexual, at least for how it possibly might reflect back on them, regardless of how it makes us feel.
My child is just 'disabled', not a sexual invert, it's not my fault, I did everything I could.. and so forth. I mean, just look at all the comments on the Jazz Jennings YouTube video, so many people saying her parents actually letting her be the girl that she so clearly naturally is, is actually child abuse, because they are just buying into her delusion, feeding her synthetic hormones, and leaving her sterile.
Who is is that's supposed to have 'empathy' in that situation? I think her parents are probably doing a really good job, except perhaps in terms of all the publicity they are exposing her to, but it's kind of a story that needs to be lived in detail by someone in the public eye, so that other people can better understand the difficulties involved.
So I don't know, I would say that I'm hyper-sensitive to others potential disapproval, but, without HRT I'm not that aware of others or even my own emotions. So no, I'm not empathetic a lot in real life, I'm tired, anxious and often seething with rage internally, but I learned early on how to keep that bottled up so I try very hard not to show it.
I'm often still at that sort of teenage 'I hate my life' stage, even 20 years down the line.
How do we get through to other people that this stuff is not psychological, it's more biochemical, but we really need to do this stuff as teenagers, not as adults, and it's more like child cruelty to not let us be natural than it is cruelty to let us?