#1 [url]

Apr 13 16 10:55 AM

Emma,

That is a great article and it was a pleasure to read it.  I am so happy for Sophie and commend her family for how they have supported her.  I think the theme of the article is right on and clearly it is true that supportive parents are so helpful for a young TG child.

Back when we were children, I think it would be very rare for parents to be supportive of this.  Back then people did not understand this at all.  Even now it is hard for parents to know what is best to do in such situations.  I wonder how I would have handled this if one of my children had shown these early signs - 20 or 25 years ago.  Even being TG myself, back then I may not have handled it too well.  Now, with all I know, I think I would.

Emma, you mentioned that you likely showed early signs yourself. How did your parents deal with it?  Perhaps you were not as persistent as Sophie from the article.  I know in my own case, I didn't show any signs at all, and appeared to my parents and everyone else to be a masculine aggressive "normal" boy.  I don't know what my parents would have done had I been more like Sophie at that age.  That was over 50 years ago….. I can't imagine they would have understood or supported it - even though they were very good and loving parents.

Quote    Reply   

#2 [url]

Apr 13 16 12:04 PM

The way my parents handled it when I told them when I was 2 years old back in 1958 was to put the fear of god into me. That god made me a boy and that I better learn to live with it. And they are pretty liberal people. Until fairly recently that was probably the standard response. It may just be hindsight, but it's easy to imagine how much easier my life would of been if my parents would of been supportive back then.

Lindsay


"The thing is you see what you want to see and you hear what you want to hear, dig?" the Pointed Man

Quote    Reply   

#3 [url]

Apr 13 16 8:54 PM

Dear Lindsay and Cindy,

I was born in '56 myself, and I don't have much specific information to relate. I know, for example, that in nursery school I wanted to practice curtseying rather than handshakes, like the girls. And other stuff like that. And, my mother spanked and disciplined me to high heaven, although I never knew why. Later, at 5 or 6, I was ashamed of those feelings, so I believe now that I had "learned " how shameful they were...

But now I know different, but like Cindy said, I doubt how well I would have handled one of my sons being TG, about 30 years ago. For one thing, I didn't accept myself, let alone understand what it means to be trans. So I'm glad that neither did.

Back to my early signs, I:
- Wanted to dance like a ballerina;
- Wanted to join the Blue Bells, like the other first grade girls;
- played with the girls in their play kitchens in kindergarten, instead of with the boys which was scary.

It goes on. My mother spanked me so much she broke a vessel in her palm, which led her to use a paddle. For a preschool kid? Kinda weird, I think. I tried to be a more regular boy but evidently was unsuccessful since I was bullied a lot.

What else can I say? I think life was pretty difficult those days. Thankfully, it seems like people are changing. I could wish that things had been different but we all know that's not realistic. I'm just so glad to finally be coming in to my own skin and acceptance now.

Emma

Quote    Reply   

#4 [url]

Apr 14 16 2:49 PM

Even though I am not so sure how I might have handled it with my own kids, it was easier when it was another child.  I do remember many years ago, when my kids were young, my son had a friend (the son of my neighbor and friend) who was gender non-comforming.  Unfortunately most of the boys were not nice to him or friendly with him.  And his parents struggled with the whole thing, as did the child himself of course.  At that time, I was not "out" as TG with my wife, family or anyone else.  Yet somehow this boy was drawn to me, and I to him as well.  I think he sensed that I understood and saw me as a safe adult he could relate to.  When he was at our home and the other boys were playing "boy stuff", I would let him play with dolls or whatever he wanted.  He loved to draw, and he and I would draw pictures of princesses, which he enjoyed so much.  I was concerned a little, that his Dad might reprimand me and ask me not to allow such behavior.  But he never did.

This boy grew up and is now in his late 20's, a healthy and happy and successful man.  He is a gay man, and has a good relationship with his parents.  I am so happy for them all, and I hope that just maybe I had some kind of positive influence by letting him explore and be himself.  When he was a child, I would have guessed he would be TG, but he was just exploring I guess.

 

Quote    Reply   
Add Reply

Quick Reply

bbcode help