#1 [url]

Nov 18 15 12:52 AM

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful video! Do you mind if I republish this one over at tumblr?

I readily admit that I am stuck inside my head, and I need people like you showing the world that your identity, your sense of self, you is anchored in the body. Yes, in many ways we are our bodies, and dancing is one way of being that body to the fullest extent.

I am also sure you are right in saying that the transphobes have other issues they are not able to face and that they are basically channeling fear and frustration towards us, that actually belong elsewhere.

Quote    Reply   

#3 [url]

Nov 18 15 6:11 PM

April wrote:
Ok, a new messaging to platform of which I have to learn the nuances. I did a video last week which I sort of like.




 

Is there suppose to be a video in this thread? I don't see it.

Quote    Reply   

#4 [url]

Nov 18 15 7:41 PM

Koloa wrote:

April wrote:
Ok, a new messaging to platform of which I have to learn the nuances. I did a video last week which I sort of like.





 

Is there suppose to be a video in this thread? I don't see it.

Well, that's sort of weird. It disappeared somehow. I edited my original post to put it back in.

Quote    Reply   

#8 [url]

Dec 18 15 10:04 AM

I love finding situations where I have pictures exactly one year appart. That situation happened yesterday. I am up about 10 pounds from a year ago, and I think I look curvier, and better. But I am also keenly aware that it is much easier to gain weight now. HRT seems to do that after a while, so I have to be constantly on my guard. I average about 1,000 calories per day.


image

Quote    Reply   

#13 [url]

Jan 6 16 5:58 PM

April wrote:
Ok, I haven't done a before and after in a while, so here's an update. I don't think I am the prettiest girl on the planet, but I am pretty sure that I have moved a long way from that before guy.

6 months before stating HRT

image



After almost two years of HRT
image
 

Wow! This kind of gives me hope that if I wanted to go downt hat route I could turn out really pretty. I look pretty masculine, and I think stressed, but with this it give me some hope.

Quote    Reply   

#14 [url]

Jan 6 16 6:00 PM

April wrote:
I love finding situations where I have pictures exactly one year appart. That situation happened yesterday. I am up about 10 pounds from a year ago, and I think I look curvier, and better. But I am also keenly aware that it is much easier to gain weight now. HRT seems to do that after a while, so I have to be constantly on my guard. I average about 1,000 calories per day.


image

Ok. Now I am jealous lol. The skirt  and boots look like fun.

Quote    Reply   

#15 [url]

Jan 7 16 1:27 PM

Thanks everybody!

Sean, I probably wear the combination knee high boots and a high hemline about half the time, and I call that my "uber girl look". But I also have a more androgynous look. When I go to rainbow clubs or dance clubs with a lot of millennials, I am an uber girl most of the time. But when I go to straight bars with a more conservative clientele, such as sports bars, I dress more androgynous. Yet I still dance pretty much the same way, and more and more, I let my full personality shine through. I just reign it in a little. Interestingly, I find that people treat me pretty much the same, regardless, even though some of the places I go are rather redneck. I think many of them have me figured out, but I provide myself just enough of a cover, that they can dismiss it all as a middle life crisis of somebody who idolized glam rockers in (his) youth. People frequently say things like they think I dance like Mick Jagger, or I look like Tom Petty. I play along with it, but every time I go out to such places, I try to stretch things just a little bit further.

"Uber Gir" mode:
image

[b]Butching it Up - How I look out in "Boy Mode"
[url]

Quote    Reply   

#18 [url]

Jan 15 16 1:40 PM

Dr. Judith Butler, Ph.D. -- UC Berkeley, comparative literature, gender theory.

image

Butler has a great deal to say about stereotypes, "patriarchal hegemonic hetero-normative dyad" . . .

I pretty much present like this, except longer hair, earrings. At 68 these days, the androgens are slowing down, and I look gender ambiguous to some degree.

April . . .

Your presentation is seamless. You look -- seamless --  very well carried off. I watched the video, and nobody gets "clocked." That said, let me make an observation here:

Your "before" photos suggest that you're aged mid 60's. Presentation, seamlessly presented, has April looking in her late 30's. And this is a "club outing" sort of look/style, accessories a bit over the top for out on the street, everyday wear. This an observation, not ridicule/criticism.

On occaision when I do "full drag femme" -- I'm inclined to wear "younger styles" because that's what I find attractive. That's what I find attractive in women -- and I'm a hetero-sexual male, 68 yrs old. Cis F women have noted that when I present as such, the features that "clock" me as male are that I'm not dressed my age. I'm a 68 yr. old male wearing fashion intended for and having details specific to women in their mid 30's. When I do "68 yr old matron" presentation everything becomes "credible." The downside is that this matron is not who I want to be.

That said, Blanchard's "fetish" issue comes up here. A fetish is the focus of interest/intent upon an obect. Let's drop the "value judgement" issue about the term "fetish" and instead look at how "fetish" becomes an object of motivation for a subject that desires to assume or integrate said object into one's personal ID presentation. Personally, I can assume the ID of a woman in her mid 40's. This presentation takes a great deal of time, effort, and thought. And when we're all done (No HRT, no surgery), I still look "like a man in a dress." It works for me in the dark, if I don't interact face-to-face with people.

OTOH -- I dress like Judith Bulter every day, without affectation, and without the intention of "gender crossing." I'm dressed appropriate to my every-day social functions. The attire is functional, pragmatic, integrated. I appear somewhat gender ambiguous, but mostly I look like I'm 68 yrs old, and I'm not in costume. This latter presentation is not the object of my desire, but it IS nonetheless authentic, integrated, and un-affected, un-self-conscious. It's me, not an alter ID.





 

Alias WunderDirt is Allison --
Allison Wunderland's Transcend Dance -- AllisonTranscend.blogspot.com


Last Edited By: Alias WunderDirt Jan 15 16 1:44 PM. Edited 1 time.

Quote    Reply   

#19 [url]

Jan 16 16 11:18 AM

Alias WunderDirt, What an interesting and thoughtful post. I actually read it last night, but I wanted to soak it all in before I commented. I am actually exactly 60 now. I absolutely believe that this journey needs to be about authenticty, and that is going to be different for everybody. In my case, I am very rebellious by nature, along with being rather flippant and shallow. I say these things with no shame. It's just who I am. If I had been a girl at 25, there is absolutely no question, I would have been a rock groupie, or something similar. But I ended up living a radically different life. Rather than being shallow and rebellious, I became the epitomny of conformity and a sense of duty, at least on the surface anyway. Underneath, I think a flamboyant and more rebellious person was always there, but I deeply repressed and controlled her. Only on occasison did she bubble out of me. When I got to my mid 50s. I was absolutely bored with life, but it all had led me somewhere rather secure. Then I had a brush with cancer, and that caused me to re-examine everything, including what I actually wanted and who I really was. I quickly discovered that I was still that 25 year old rebellious rock groupie, and I wanted to make up for lost time. Yet I knew I couldn't be that girl at 25, but I suspected I could be her at 60, and that is what I decided to become. I paid close attention to older cis women, who tried to project younger images, and adopted them as role models. I realize that none of this gains me any creditbility in certain circles. Toning it down a little would get me much farther with family and old friends. The transition was just too radical for them to buy into. I also catch some heat from parts of the trans community who view me as the worst example of trans sterotypes. Yet I have become rather famous in the local clubs scene, with both the LGBT crowd, and young cis kids. I am almost treated like a celebrity in such venues. I find all of it very puzzling; I am just being me now.
 

Last Edited By: April Jan 16 16 11:23 AM. Edited 1 time.

Quote    Reply   
Add Reply

Quick Reply

bbcode help