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Jan 2 16 9:24 AM

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One thing I can never quite decide in my crossdreaming is what name I would take if I ever did/had transisitioned...  I've tried out a few 'for size' but never decided for sure.

How do other people decide on a name?  (THis has probably been discussed here before, I know)
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#1 [url]

Jan 2 16 10:20 AM

For me, picking a name was a critical watershed. Once I gave a name to my soul, the path to transition became considerably easier. That might be a warning of sorts. Once you give a name to your soul, it becomes a lot harder to lock it away. For the record, I was born in April, and I am also a big fan of the famous transsexual, "April Ashley".

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#3 [url]

Jan 3 16 1:20 AM

For me, names are like gloves. Choose one to fit your dress, but don't get attached too much - one day you might want to change and to change it with you... 

Though, it's not for everyone, I guess. =)

Your mind is software. Program it.

Your body is a shell. Change it.
Death is a disease. Cure it.
Extinction is approaching. Fight it!

© "Eclipse Phase" by Posthuman Studios

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#4 [url]

Jan 3 16 5:42 AM

1) i think Lain's attitude ^ is cool! xx

2) Pip's 'if i transitioned' focus is just not my perspective on trans. but in any case i just love being Deborah/Debbie/Debs/Deb! the Kate part gets a bit neglected, but i love that too really.

it's just nice having a girl name. i would have thought any mtf crossdreamer would think that. we are all entitled to enjoy this nice feeling! xx

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#6 [url]

Jan 3 16 4:40 PM

Right then, question askers rights - I'll answer my own!

I totally get April's points regarding naming one's soul.... I find the intensity of my crossdreaming is greater when I have a definite name in mind.... Others whose approach to cross dreaming and personal integration of course have a total right to their own approach.. but for me a name is important part of identity...

It seems to make sense to keep a certain part of my identity and Orlanda's approach makes total sense - but I just don't like the Name Christine. Christina is better and I did have an online identity for ages as Tanya ( a distortion from Tina, short for the above!)... then I could just keep the same initial, and Claire is another one I could have used.... I can't use the name I would have got if I'd been born a girl, because my sister took that name two years later (shame because its a great name).. Other good C names are Caroline (but I don't like the abbrev Carol),, Catherine (but with a K, that's another family member's name), Charlotte and other course, Cheryl, like our other leading light... My favourite all time favourite female name is Sarah, but I don't feel like a Sarah and its the name of the woman my male self currently has unrequited feelings for...

Am I overthinking this?????

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#7 [url]

Jan 3 16 5:57 PM

PipX wrote:
I can't use the name I would have got if I'd been born a girl, because my sister took that name two years later (shame because its a great name).. 
I don't see what stopping you. It's not like, at this point there is something, that can define you within a system better, than ID card, which goes with number. With a lot of numbers, in fact. If name's not enough to solidify you in modern society, then it's only superficial identifier, clearly intended for cosmetic purposes. At least, on large scale. To you personally it can mean a lot, and in my opinion, you should have ultimate decision to have whatever name you feel comfortable with. Even, if your sister took it. Everyday life tend to sort out issues that come from such coinsidences. 


_______________________________________________________
For me personally, name is important part of identity (if still a part). Every name of every identity I have (not, that they are drastically different, mind me). I think, at least for me, identity isn't that important part of existence. On it's own, at least. But communication is, and if identity stands in a way of that, it should be changed or replaced by other. At least, for as long, as it needed. Some buiding blocks of identity can be persistent, but it's not immutable in it's enirety and name is one of the things, that can be changed to express your evolving, overcoming and compromising to reach out others. I hope, that in future identity would turn into something more plastic and used to self-modification.

Your mind is software. Program it.

Your body is a shell. Change it.
Death is a disease. Cure it.
Extinction is approaching. Fight it!

© "Eclipse Phase" by Posthuman Studios

Last Edited By: Lain Jan 3 16 10:30 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#8 [url]

Jan 3 16 10:19 PM

I needed a name for my femme self that my Mistress could address me as. Sofia was a character in an old story I wrote. When she asked me, the name came immediately to mind. It felt like it just fit perfectly. It's nowhere close to my male name.

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#9 [url]

Jan 3 16 10:30 PM

I like the name Sophia a lot. Sophie, too. And I can see what April is saying that it was another slide down the slope, or was it up that slope? My original name was Marie, which I chose because it was unmistakenly girly and sweet. But then my wife's middle name is the same so I worried about her being hurt or offended should she find out. So I chose Emma, which is a bit unique (which I like) but also girly. It also reminds me of Emma Peale whom I adored back in the Sixties. :-)

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#10 [url]

Jan 3 16 11:13 PM

Mine came to me early.

Vaydra Daézahn [redacted]* was the name I would have been named had I been born a girl.  She got the first name from a Nancy Sinatra song that she can't remember and made up the middle name.  


From the moment that my mom told me that name I fell in love.  Similar to my male name it is unusual (at least here in the USA though I hear it is common in Poland) without being weird, something I greatly appreciate in a name.  

Had she planned to name me something like "Jennifer" I probably would have chosen a different name for my female self...but I bv0Wd.gif Vay!

Even as a dark crossdreamer deep in denial, I embraced that name so very hard.  I told myself if I ever had a daughter that would be one of her names, yet kept on using it as my own name in games.  At times I found myself getting jealous of my hypothetical future daughter for having that name.

Now, I realize that I felt that way because...that is my name!!!  Or rather, the name of the crossdreaming part of myself, and she/I am not about give my name up so easily.  Sorry future hypothetical daughter you will have to get your own name Tongue

I guess, in regards to what April said, my mom named both part of my soul without even realizing it.


PipX wrote:
Right then, question askers rights - I'll answer my own!

I totally get April's points regarding naming one's soul.... I find the intensity of my crossdreaming is greater when I have a definite name in mind.... Others whose approach to cross dreaming and personal integration of course have a total right to their own approach.. but for me a name is important part of identity...

It seems to make sense to keep a certain part of my identity and Orlanda's approach makes total sense - but I just don't like the Name Christine. Christina is better and I did have an online identity for ages as Tanya ( a distortion from Tina, short for the above!)... then I could just keep the same initial, and Claire is another one I could have used.... I can't use the name I would have got if I'd been born a girl, because my sister took that name two years later (shame because its a great name).. Other good C names are Caroline (but I don't like the abbrev Carol),, Catherine (but with a K, that's another family member's name), Charlotte and other course, Cheryl, like our other leading light... My favourite all time favourite female name is Sarah, but I don't feel like a Sarah and its the name of the woman my male self currently has unrequited feelings for...

Am I overthinking this?????

Can I suggest a couple of "C" name to consider?  

Celyn and Celeste?

It was the name of a Character I created for World of Warcraft.  I always liked it but didn't develop the connection to it I did with my femme name.  I like Celeste as it reminds me of Celestial :).  

Anyway, my advice in finding your femme name is just to try out lots of different names.  Eventually one will just CLICK.  When that moment comes your, for lack of a better word, soul, will just know it. 


 
*forgive me for keeping my last name private.  I don't have any legal documents connected to my femme first and middle names or any connection to my male self so I don't mind giving that out (for the time being).  Same can't be said of my last name.




Last Edited By: Lost247365 Jan 4 16 2:53 AM. Edited 3 times.

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#11 [url]

Jan 6 16 3:32 PM

Well,.I have a few names that I like I actually for whatevery reason have always liked Sakura, I just think that it is such a beautiful name. But I have never really found a female name to use, though honestly if I could use Sakura I very well might.

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#12 [url]

Jan 8 16 12:13 PM

Generally, the names are important to me - for example, I barely use the nicknames when I talk to people who chose them, even if they replace their real names. I hadn't named my female self for a long time, and when I decided to do it was an important step in the process of the emancipation my feminine side. However, when I started to use the theory of plural self to describe my identity, I've started to describe my female self in more descriptive way, as well as the other sub-independent aspects of me.

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#13 [url]

Jan 13 16 12:48 PM

Born before the age of amniocentesis, I had a girl name picked out for me should I have won the gender lottery crap-shoot.

But mostly for me this idea of changing names is an ID bender for me. I am and intend to be continuously and seamlessly me. What that means for me these days is about deconstructing social stereotypes and becoming more holistically integral with who I am. There are no "two persona" for me, only one.

I do have my share of "nom de plume" -- pen names, literary characters who have FaceBook pages and identities of their own.

Allison works for me -- seems "unaffected" unlike the stereo-typical choices such as Anastasia-Michelle . . .

Alias WunderDirt is Allison --
Allison Wunderland's Transcend Dance -- AllisonTranscend.blogspot.com


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#14 [url]

Jan 23 16 11:48 PM

Though I've used a variety of names for games, when it came to accepting me, seeing me, I could only go with what might have been my name according to my parents. Bonus that it's a name I really loved anyways. :)

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#15 [url]

Jan 24 16 4:49 PM

If I ever decided to transition...I don't really know. Skyler is a name I chose for a blog that I never wrote. I like that it's somewhat gender-ambiguous (leaning towards feminine), the association with the word 'sky', and the music of it.

Originally, I had thought of it as a nom de plume (similar to what Allison mentioned), and it was there waiting when I joined this site. But importantly, I think things like names gain meaning through associations and experiences. So who knows. Maybe I have named (at least part) of my soul unwittingly. If so, I'm happy with my choice.

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#16 [url]

Jan 25 16 1:37 AM

I was thinking about this name business this morning; I think I'd want a name that felt authentically me, rather than one of my favourite female names (which would probably make me Sarah) that wouldn't otherwise feel like me... I'd want to keep to my parent's habit of giving names of at least 3 syllables, and also keep the same initial.but not the female form of my actual male name (because I don't like it) Also, I'd want to keep away from female names that have other male equivelents... all these 'rules' seems to meet at the name Caroline, especially if I got called Carrie for short (because the main reason for not liking Caroline is that for some reason I don't like the name Carol)... I feel so fixed on this name this morning I'd change my Id on here but that would confuse all the people who now know me here as Pip

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#17 [url]

Jan 25 16 11:28 AM

You could always edit the box title on your profile from "about me" to Caroline.  That way you keep the userID of Pip but also have Caroline on there.  That pretty much what I did on my profile.

Last Edited By: Lost247365 Jan 29 16 5:00 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#20 [url]

Apr 12 16 8:49 PM

Many years ago I watched a Hitchcock film starring Tippi Hedren and liked the sound of her name.

For myself I went with an initial 'K', simply because it felt right. I'd noticed that little girls like to skip, but "Skippy" felt too boyish. So I dropped the 'S'.

I didn't find out until later that there are people actually named "Kippi" and that many of them are male.

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