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I've struggled with who I am for decades but have come to terms with that side of myself in the last year and in fact started to embrace it; though the process is still ongoing and has occasional off days where I feel like I'm right back where I started. I suppose I felt that for so long I'd been living half a life and my feminine emotional and very caring side got suppressed by my birth gender who always saw that side of himself as soft. The truth is that when I finally did come to terms with my feminine thoughts and behaviour patterns I realised that they made me a much better and kinder person and above all I was much happier too.
I don't really like labels since they seldom fit but if you want one then I would say I fall somewhere under the transgender tree. I've done a lot of reading recently because I am very interested to do as much as I can to figure myself out and even though it can be painful it is also very cathartic. I decided to write a journal about my experiences as well as write quite a lot of self-analysis and self-help articles to get things I've bottled up out of my system and exorcise my inner negativity demons. I don't mind saying that I am a freelance writer but that work deals with a very specific field and I am not what you would call an author. Ideally long term I would like to actually publish a book providing it does something useful and helps other people like me find some sense of balance and understanding in their lives.
I found this forum by reading Felix Conrad's books which have given me a great many new ideas and have helped a lot. My main problem is that I have no one to relate to and chat about what I think and feel. My best friend acccepts me even though I have only told him recently but he lives some distance away so I don't see him often. I live out in the middle of the countryside in a small village so there is no one else I can speak to. I have tried a couple of UK based transgender forums in the past but one was basically a cattle market style dating site which wasn't for me and the other was too concerned with meet ups or rushing towards transition which is not what I am ideally looking for. I am genuinely interested in behaviour and coping strategies and self-acceptance and having lurked for a while I have found the topics I have read here to be very interesting and quite a lot of what is discussed deeply resonates with me.
I hope I fit in here because I really do want to belong somewhere since I can't live in isolation forever and need some form of social outlet. Thanks for reading.
Last Edited By: Karise Aikina May 12 17 7:33 AM. Edited 1 time