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May 12 17 5:57 AM

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Hello everyone. My name is Karise. I'm 42 and I live in the cold, frozen north of the UK. :)

I've struggled with who I am for decades but have come to terms with that side of myself in the last year and in fact started to embrace it; though the process is still ongoing and has occasional off days where I feel like I'm right back where I started.  I suppose I felt that for so long I'd been living half a life and my feminine emotional and very caring side got suppressed by my birth gender who always saw that side of himself as soft. The truth is that when I finally did come to terms with my feminine thoughts and behaviour patterns I realised that they made me a much better and kinder person and above all I was much happier too.

I don't really like labels since they seldom fit  but if you want one then I would say I fall somewhere under the transgender tree. I've done a lot of reading recently because I am very interested to do as much as I can to figure myself out and even though it can be painful it is also very cathartic. I decided to write a journal about my experiences as well as write quite a lot of self-analysis and self-help articles to get things I've bottled up out of my system and exorcise my inner negativity demons. I don't mind saying that I am a freelance writer but that work deals with a very specific field and I am not what you would call an author. Ideally long term I would like to actually publish a book providing it does something useful and helps other people like me find some sense of balance and understanding in their lives. 

I found this forum by reading Felix Conrad's books which have given me a great many new ideas and have helped a lot. My main problem is that I have no one to relate to and chat about what I think and feel. My best friend acccepts me even though I have only told him recently but he lives some distance away so I don't see him often. I live out in the middle of the countryside in a small village so there is no one else I can speak to. I have tried a couple of UK based transgender forums in the past but one was basically a cattle market style dating site which wasn't for me and the other was too concerned with meet ups or rushing towards transition which is not what I am ideally looking for. I am genuinely interested in behaviour and coping strategies and self-acceptance and having lurked for a while I have found the topics I have read here to be very interesting and quite a lot of what is discussed deeply resonates with me. 

I hope I fit in here because I really do want to belong somewhere since I can't live in isolation forever and need some form of social outlet. Thanks for reading. 


 

Last Edited By: Karise Aikina May 12 17 7:33 AM. Edited 1 time

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#3 [url]

May 12 17 10:59 AM

BTW If anyone can explain to me just how I get my actual username and avatar to show up next to my username it would be greatly appreciated. I never have this kind of problem on forums usually but I fee like a phantom leaving posts at present. LOL

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#4 [url]

May 12 17 11:24 AM

Karise Aikina wrote:
BTW If anyone can explain to me just how I get my actual username and avatar to show up next to my username it would be greatly appreciated. I never have this kind of problem on forums usually but I fee like a phantom leaving posts at present. LOL

Hi Karise, 

I noticed this problem with your posts as well and have already made a post in the admin's forum to see what is going on with your account.  This is not normal and I think it might be a glitch with Lefora.  Hopefully we will  get it fixed ASAP.

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#6 [url]

May 12 17 1:28 PM

Yes, its not a problem I've had either; I suspect lefora will need to get involved but I'll go read Vaydra's post in the admin form in a moment.. def shouldn't happen..  also its weird that you are not being shown as the author of this thread..   weird too..  possibly linked

and WELCOME

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#7 [url]

May 13 17 3:57 AM

Thanks for the welcome Pip. Hopefully the account problems get sorted out before long, otherwise I might have to create another account because this one seems very broken at present. I can't seem to edit my posts either which is another oddity and I do like to fix my typos. LOL

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