IAs long as the autogynephilia theory is used by TERFs and right wing extremists to attack us, some trans people will be tempted to use the same way of reasoning to keep "true transgender people" apart from "the fetishists." They think they can avoid the social stigma attached by reinforcing this binary. The truth is, of course, that by doing so they throw a lot of transgender people under the bus, i.e. the ones for whom sexual fantasies play an important role in their self discovery.
In case there might some misunderstanding of my position, I want to say as clearly as I can that I do NOT believe that crossdreaming sexual fantasies are a fetish or a perversion. I agree that they can play an important role in our self-discovery.
I just don't think that they're the *whole* story, or the root cause, as Blanchard's theory seems to suggest. I think we have a gender core, probably related to hormone levels during critical phases of prenatal brain development, and this means someone can be "truly transgender" without needing to transition -- or indeed, without needing to crossdream or crossdress.
So I hope this removes any misunderstanding that might have been caused by my "None of your damned business!" comments above.
The philosopher Charles Taylor once observed that we form our identity largely in response to others' attempt to define it for us. We're constantly being categorized and labeled, as others try to make sense of and gain some control over their world. We resist those labels and we say "No, no, you've got it wrong. That's not who I am." But when pressed to explain who we are instead, we're often at a loss for words. We just know, deep in our bones, that we're something else.
Many of us eventually quit trying to convince others of their mistake. I no longer care what TERFs, transsexual separatists or their bigoted allies think, except insofar as it impacts my freedom to live as I think best.