Just for context: I am entirely oriented toward women, so if I was to transition I'm as positive as I can be that I'd be a lesbian. I've had a healthy and varied sex life with women since I was in college over 40 years ago. That said, though, my passions that were so intense at the start of relationships tended to ebb with time. I envied their femininity and wanted them to take a more active role with me. I thus started to fantasize while I was having sex as a way to enjoy myself and perform. But over time this also wasn't enough, I needed more.
With my first wife (I've been married twice) she reluctantly allowed me to wear panties or a nightgown, which helped a lot. But she didn't like it and I, trying to chalk it all up to some sort of shameful fetish, immediately took them off after the act.
My second wife would have nothing to do with any of this. We haven't made love for the last 4-5 years of our relationship. At first it was my normal pattern as described above. Later, after I came out to her as trans, she didn't want to have anything to do with me in bed, and we slept in different rooms.
So I can well imagine that your gender dysphoria is a big issue, and I suspect it's that way for many of us. Let's face it, our gender and sex-orientation are some of the most fundamental aspects to our being human so it's no surprise.