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Mar 29 17 8:21 AM

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My crossdreaming began when I was in 1st or 2nd grade. I don't remember my first one, but one of the first involved waking up as a girl and going through my day as a girl. At the time, I had a sort of girlfriend who l played with and liked to paint my nails. I started having crossdreams where she would paint my nails and that would cause me to turn fully into a girl. I would get a full makeover and we could be girls together. I felt confused by this, but also excited and secretly hoping it could happen in reality. I knew it was something that other kids would think I was weird for wanting, but I hadn't fully learned to feel shame about it yet.
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#1 [url]

Mar 29 17 8:55 AM

I can only remember always wanting to be female. They are my earliest memories. I told my mom when I was three that I was a girl.

Lindsay


"The thing is you see what you want to see and you hear what you want to hear, dig?" the Pointed Man

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#3 [url]

Mar 29 17 3:23 PM

In preschool I wanted to learn to curtsy with the girls, dance like a ballerina. In kindergarten I played with the girls in their little kitchenettes instead of with the boys and their large blocks, which looked scary. Sometime in there I started going to sleep with recurring (and impossible to resist although I tried) fantasies of my mother buying a leotard and tights for me, or for me to be dressed from head to toe in dance clothes and (for some reason that I don't recall) put into a spaceship and shipped off into space!

I wish that I could remember (like Lindsay) telling my mother that I wanted to be or was a girl. She's long gone now so that's not possible. I've wondered where and how I knew that in preschool that my dreams and envies were very shameful and had to remain such a secret. From then to maybe a year ago (55+ years later) I've lived as if I was maintaining a huge lie and deception. What a shame!

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#4 [url]

Mar 30 17 3:05 AM

I don't recall actual dreams much. I mean, up until I was a teenager it was just all just a fairly strong feeling like, 'I want to do that / wear that / have that too' much more than 'I want to be that'.

When I was 14 or so and I went on a summer camp, well a variety of not so pleasant things happened, but at the end of the week there was a talent show and a bunch of older boys from my school dressed up as the Spice Girls, (which was actually the first time I'd heard of them, this being mid 1996 and they didn't make it really big till 1998).

Anyway, that's pretty much when I noticed that the idea of my doing something like that too was more than just a passing thought, and very much a turn on, but it took another few months before I got to the 'I really should just be a girl, that would make everything make sense' stage.



Then I just kind of clammed up about it all, and stuff like this happened



and everyone was just like, 'Did you know she used to be a man?', 'How could they possibly let someone like that represent their country?' etc. etc.

So while I knew then it was actually a medical possibility, I also knew it wasn't a considered a good thing for anyone to actually do, not if they wanted anyone to take them seriously, or to get a proper job etc..

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#5 [url]

Mar 30 17 8:30 AM

I was about age 9 or 10... grade 3. I used to dream that I was coming back from the mall or something, laden with shopping bags full of girl clothes and a brand new pussy and breasts. I would throw the bags aside and flop onto my bed and I then play with myself for a while. That progressed to more complex dreams later on but that was the extent of my first crossdream.

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#6 [url]

Mar 30 17 4:08 PM

Hello,

I started dreaming about becoming my wife's daughter, not that she would take care of me, but that I could sleep with her and other men together while she controlled me and penetrated me. In transition I realized this was a fantasy and started asking others if It is OK to be a lesbian transgender woman. With all of it out in the open now. My wife's acceptance, without my having to be her daughter or her lesbian slave, but simply a transgender woman, helps me to honor our bond, so that we respond to each other in respect of the fact that I am a transgender female who willingly submits my will to her.

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#7 [url]

As silly as it may be, my first time was while watching the ending of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. I was probably around 7 years old.



When I saw this, I learned to that it was possible for men to become women. I instantly started thinking of myself as a beautiful woman like (circa 1994) Sean Young. Since then, the idea of being a woman stuck to me.

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#8 [url]

As a young kid I always had a love of fantasy, and in particular stories of transformation. One of my favorite movies was "Willow" which had tons of different changes. Just about everything save a gender change.

Honestly, I never even thought about a sex transformation until (iirc) right before I entered seventh grade. It was at this time I saw Dr Jeckyll and Ms Hyde. The seen where Tim Daily's character transformed into a woman for the first time became etched into my psyche.

I found myself constantly fantasizing about something like that happening to me from then on out. I constantly started putting myself into that scene or creating my own scenarios after that. Almost always stories of me turning into an attractive girl against my will and trying to maintain some semblance of my former masculine (and never finding a way back.). I remember constantly sitting in classes surrounded by girls and feeling jealous of them and then imaging myself slowly changing into a girl.

It wasn't long after that before I discovered the manga series Ranma 1/2 and websites like the transformation story archive, TG story and fiction archive, fictionmania, big closet and more. Each one gave me new ideas for new fantasies. I guess I was (and I still am) constantly trying to find so new vehicle for my crossdreamer side.

Honestly I am still entranced by any story of a magic transformation, but none bring out my obsession like TG stories and I don't find the others arousing nor do they cause me to experience this nigh uncontrollable longing to be the subject of the change.

And with that I need to go bang my head against the wall a few times to get these thoughts back under control.

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