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Jul 14 16 1:40 PM

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for me the quintessential crossdreaming experience is seeing an attractice feminine woman (in rl, on a vid, in a pic) and feeling an instinctive identification/yearning coming from deep within. is it the same with you?

how does this make you feel, in the moment?

love,
Deb xx
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#1 [url]

Jul 14 16 3:39 PM

Deborah Kate wrote:
for me the quintessential crossdreaming experience is seeing an attractice feminine woman (in rl, on a vid, in a pic) and feeling an instinctive identification/yearning coming from deep within. is it the same with you?

how does this make you feel, in the moment?

love,
Deb xx

Absoutely, that is a common experience for me too.  In those moments I feel:
  • A visceral envy that she's so comfortable in her skin and in her life, or at least that's how she appears to me.
  • A sinking sadness within me that I'll always have these envies and strong feelings.
  • I wonder how it feels to be her in that moment and in her life.  I want to experience her feelings.
I guess that sums it up. These feelings are kind of spontaneous to me. If you read The Godfather you might remember that Michael he was struck with what the Italians call "the thunderbolt" when he immediately fell in love with a woman whom he noticed while walking around town.  A thunderbolt is kind of what happens to me when these feelings are triggered.  It's often kind of a surprise, and might be a girl, a young woman, or a woman who is anywhere from her twenties to her fifties. 

Emma

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#2 [url]

Jul 16 16 11:29 AM

thanks Ems. Interesting to read - you put it very well as always.

it's a feeling i have very often. for me it is a softer feeling than a thunderbolt stike: not always intense. it comes very much from within me, piercing into my conscious mind . it's ooooh and aahhh and ohhhh all mixed up. the deep yearning and envy is mixed with a pleasure in identity. the feminity whatever within me is instinctively activated by my identification, so it brings the dormant Deborah alive. i really feel that there is something within me which matches my impression of the rl woman in question. really feeling that is both vitalising and exasperating. i feel connected with both my vital femininity - which of course i like - and its imprisonment - which of course i don't. xx 

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#3 [url]

Jul 16 16 10:15 PM

Deborah, yes. i think in a lot of things same, and this two "seeing an attractice feminine woman" and "feeling an instinctive identification/yearning coming from deep within" have many indirect connections.
"Seeing an attractive" i think more obvious for a lot of us, but second one really more deep feelings. And for me some-times it is more severe reason for disphoria. When i feel lost of connection with my feminine, female nature. If i don't feel it i try replace it with crossdressing, but in that condition my expectations for my look too much high and i can not satisfied. But if i feel my woman nature better, i feel satisfaction and can be more risky to go outside. This is instinctive identefication probably feeling of true gender, but it is too much repressed under coping mechanisms, and appearsonly some-times.

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#4 [url]

Jul 18 16 5:51 AM

for me the quintessential crossdreaming experience is seeing an attractice feminine woman (in rl, on a vid, in a pic) and feeling an instinctive identification/yearning coming from deep within. is it the same with you?

how does this make you feel, in the moment?


I sometimes get this peculiar mix of feelings (and especially in the summertime, after the long cold winter, when all the women becomes visible in all their splendor) -- a mix of joy and happiness from seeing all this beauty and a deep sadness from what cannot be.

To me the concept of beauty becomes broader and broader as time goes by. I getting close to a point where I see the beauty in all women. They do not have to be particularly feminine or express some kind of "classical beauty". 

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#5 [url]

Jul 18 16 6:53 AM

I total agree I was watching Chicago last night the singing the dancing the beauty, most of the day I keep thinking of taking up dancing to be that female partner, if only I had the time. But they are the glamour girls and I am starting to see the not so classical beautiful woman as just woman that I should have been, comfortable in there only body and thoughts.

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#6 [url]

Jul 27 16 5:32 AM

jackmolay wrote:
I sometimes get this peculiar mix of feelings (and especially in the summertime, after the long cold winter, when all the women becomes visible in all their splendor) -- a mix of joy and happiness from seeing all this beauty and a deep sadness from what cannot be.

To me the concept of beauty becomes broader and broader as time goes by. I getting close to a point where I see the beauty in all women. They do not have to be particularly feminine or express some kind of "classical beauty". 

yes, i agree with all of the above. 

as well as appreciation and yearning, there is also identification for me, a feeling of 'i am what their looks express'. xx

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#8 [url]

Aug 8 16 4:12 AM

The most common thing I do is visualizing myself as an attractive woman. Often I do this lying in bed, calming down. I know pretty much exactly how I look, the style of my hair, earrings, the clothes I am wearing etc. Then I feel that body instead of my usual body and how the garments and seams press into it, the slight pain of feet pressed into high heeled boots etc. Then I become Monique. Imagining you're wearing tight sleek pants, like leggings with a seam right up your crotch, is a great way of "senso-visualizing" your inner woman. ;)

I don't watch other women in RL that much in order to identify myself with them. I probably used to do this quite a lot though. First, I am not them, and if I did, I would only get depressed from the deep gulf separating us. Instead, I try to get a sense of their joy as my joy, then radiating it back towards them with feelings of appreciation, warmth and love (these are generally not sexual feelings, but akin to the joy you can experience from watching happy children play).

I do sometimes watch fetish videos on YT, for example women walking through town in tight shiny leggings and heels just to get a feel for it, the sway, the body movement etc. After all, I am very much a fetishist. ;)

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#9 [url]

Aug 9 16 2:53 AM

Monique wrote:
1. I try to get a sense of their joy as my joy, then radiating it back towards them with feelings of appreciation, warmth and love (these are generally not sexual feelings, but akin to the joy you can experience from watching happy children play).

2. I do sometimes watch fetish videos on YT, for example women walking through town in tight shiny leggings and heels just to get a feel for it, the sway, the body movement etc. After all, I am very much a fetishist. ;)

1. that sounds good. i can get a sense of sheer appreciation, which is benevolent rather than envious.or when there is envy, it is totally without resentment, just wanting what they have myself too.

2. oh yes - 'a feel for it, the sway, the body mobement etc.' - ohhh! xx
 

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#10 [url]

Nov 19 16 5:04 PM

When I become transfixed on a girl, there is usually something about her that I identify strongly with. It can be her eyes, her hair, the way her body moves, the sound of her voice... It causes alarm bells to go off in my head that say, "Yes! Yes! That's me! That's what I want. That's how I should be."

If I like a particular girl enough, I'm invent some kind of fictional scenario where I become her in some way.

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#11 [url]

Nov 20 16 10:11 PM

For me, it's very hard to differentiate almost in most of sexual/aesthetic noise I'm getting.

Definitive Crossdream moments for me, when medium lets me IN-TO the female experience. Books, interactive media, that explore that aspect of human existence really create thay assosiation, that yearning.

I chose this topic, because I wanted to share something. So ther was free Overwatch weekend. While I can't simply buy it, I wanted to try out this game for a while, specifically after I heard what Mercy experience feels like and seen the arts and trailers and some fanart... Anyway, I liked it.

For those who not in the know. Overwatch is team-based first-person "hero" shooter. What makes it distinct, it's 'team-based' part and instand recognizability of a characters.

So, a Mercy I'm talking about s a healer. A support class character, who can boost damage dealt by your teammates, heal others and resurrect fallen. It's mostly it. No crazy gunblaze, no nothing. Oh, right and also she has wings! You probably seen her.

So, where I was going. Most of mainstream games even they give you a female character rarely give you anything distinct to identify with character's gender.

It's either a story about a character you're allowed to guide through dangerous bits or absolutely bland put your face character story, that simply doesn't care about character in question. It's often hard to really identify with either type.

What I liked about Mercy, beside being thanked and ppreciated for quick and attentive healing/support is just minor detail.

It's a soft clicking sound, when you jump. High heels. I know, ridiculous. Like most of everything else in that universe, but I shit you not, I loved that sound, when I heard it first time.

A warm fuzzy feeling, right there. Nothing sexual about it. Nothing romantic. I'm aware, that in real life you don't jump on high heels and that actually they're huge pain in the... well.

It was fun experience. And I liked it. As well as the game overall. Still not sure, whether I will ever buy it.

Your mind is software. Program it.

Your body is a shell. Change it.
Death is a disease. Cure it.
Extinction is approaching. Fight it!

© "Eclipse Phase" by Posthuman Studios

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